So like I JusWondered above:
What does 37 mean to me?
Perhaps an old Michelle Pfeiffer film?
It also starred Peter Gallagher.
Perhaps mutant Detroit Tigers’ pitcher Max Scherzer?
He's a better pitcher than a belly itcher.
Perhaps a rather blue scene from the black-and-white film Clerks?
Oh, wait. I remember. That’s how old I am now.
This is about right.
There’s dumb, and then there’s getting married.
I could ramble on and on (and on and on) about my feelings on marriage, but I already feel like I’ve shared enough.
So to further illustrate how fruitless of a venture getting married is I present
SUBJECT 1 – THIS MIGHT HAVE SEEMED CLEVER IN THE PLANNING STAGES, BUT IN REALITY…
SUBJECT 2 – THIS ALSO MIGHT HAVE SEEMED CLEVER IN THE PLANNING STAGES, BUT IN REALITY…
Vodpod videos no longer available.
See what marriage does to our brains? The only thing worse than either of these was the wedding where people danced down the aisle to Chris Brown beat-up music. It has over 71,000,000 views. Fuck them, seriously.
Hmm.
I don’t know what would sex drive a man to beat this record, but I’ve got to hand it to this guy for sticking to something. (I chose not to italicize the puns to give you a shot at picking them up. It’s not that hard.)
(via)
Charlie LeDuff is one of the coolest reporters we have here in Detroit. Otherwise, Detroit sucks major ball bearings.
Sometimes I notice things in this world that I plan to share with you, but I quickly forget. These are some Coinkydinks or Coinkydonks that I almost forgot about. Lucky you it was only almost.
ITEM #1 – THE BREA GRANT CONNECTION
That smirk seems permanent.
Brea Grant may not be a well-known face (or even known at all), but the moment she appeared early in the sixth season of Showtime’s Dexter, I recognized her. I didn’t know what from, so I investigated. Turned out, she also starred in NBC’s Heroes during its third season. I tried to forget that awful show, and thus, I forgot her. Now here’s the Coinkydink (or Coinkydonk)…
She starred alongside Actor! Masi Oka on Heroes, and alongside character (Vince) Masuka on Dexter.
It’s a little weird, right? No, not really? Okay then, moving on.
ITEM #2 – STOP SHOUTING!
I’ve noticed that The General Insurance must be doing pretty good, because their graphics have been getting better and better. As for the concepts…?
Does this woman’s “hiya’s” sound familiar to you?
Because to me, I’m reminded of Link’s sidekick, Navi, form The Legend of Zelda – A Link to the Past:
You don’t hear it? All right, how about this last one.
ITEM #3 – ROBOTS AND ALCOHOL DON’T MIX
Here’s the party I was late to… I love robots, but I couldn’t stand it when Heineken had this atrocity of an ad for an atrocity of a product (the keg can):
So it amazes me that Svedka Vodka could one-up their craptacular idea:
If that’s the future of alcohol, color me sober.
What is "that"?
I have a bit of a pet peeve to share…
Ambiguity has its place in music. It has its place in many places (how’s that for ambiguous).
Songs like (sorry for these weird examples) Michelle Branch’s Everywhere and Matchbox Twenty’s 3AM seem like they could be about relationships with significant others, when in reality hers is about her grandmother and Rob Thomas’ song is about his mom.
But then you’ve got obvious ambiguity. And by that, I mean songs that use that. Here are some songs that go out of their way to make it clear that they don’t want to be clear.
MY GUESS OF WHAT THAT IS: Clothes shopping together.
MY GUESS OF WHAT THAT IS: Change his name, or stop eating so much of his name.
MY GUESS OF WHAT THAT IS: Syphilis.
MY GUESS OF WHAT THAT IS: Anything but Katie White… that’s her name.
MY GUESS OF WHAT THAT IS: Some type of feather or shoe?
MY GUESS OF WHAT THAT IS: All that.
MY GUESS OF WHAT THAT IS: Slut.
I just finished watching Gnomeo & Juliet (it’s a new release on Netflix streaming and I was just testing out my new Blu-Ray player and I picked this and I ended up sticking to it no excuses… it was highly entertaining and pun-derful), but something about the ending bothered me.
It ended with a stupid dance scene.
I don’t know where the idea for this cop out ending began, but the last time I noticed it was during the end of Despicable Me (I watched this one on a long flight to Prague no excuses). This was the first dance scene that really bothered me because it seemed to be an answer to the question posted above – how should we end this movie?
(SIDENOTE: This is how…)
When the live action version of Alice in Wonderland came out, there was a lot of brouhaha over this ending (amongst other things). For the record, I’ve not yet never seen this movie:
So did this start the trend? Let’s see if there were any others before these (I will not count dancing during the credits):
But hey! Those are all Dreamworks films! That’s like picking on them for their Dreamworks faces!
Okay, well to be fair, here are some live-action, non-musical, non-credit dance number endings:
Even though this walk down memory lane hasn’t really produced an answer, I have a theory. Beetlejuice is the oldest one on here, and the scene fits in with the rest of the movie’s universe, so I could probably discount it for the film I truly lay the blame on… There’s Something About Mary and the infectious (in every sense of the word), Build Me Up Buttercup:
(SIDENOTE: I’ve always found this Farrelly Brothers’ flick to be overrated. Also, I had never heard The Foundations ode to Legos-shaped flowers (build… buttercup… ha!) before, and people picked on me for that. Plus, I worked at Circuit Shitty at the time of DIVX, and it was claimed at the time that TSAM was partly to blame for its demise. Apparently, 20th Century Fox released it on DIVX earlier than DVD, and DVD owners were pissed you had to have a “special format” to watch the movie a week or two earlier, and wrote angry letters to Fox. Not that I was on the DIVX gravy train or anything, but there’s something to TSAM’s ruining everything!)
*end rant*
This one you’ve probably seen everywhere, and it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll explain why in a second.
These are bears in game reserve started by Walt Disney forever ago (of course). And it’s not that rare (although it’s still nice of them to wave).
(SIDENOTE: My guess why the first one has 5,000,000 hits is because it’s only 7 seconds long.)
But this… this just doesn’t happen everyday, even in Uganda. Skip ahead to the 2:50 mark (sorry it’s not 7 seconds long):
Hi, I’m Sean. This is my blog. This post is about other people named Sean (spelled the right way) that have done more than write a stupid little blog. Some of them I consider The Shit; some of them are Just Shitty; most fall somewhere in between. Here’s how they fall in my rankings:
THE SHIT
Seans Connery, Combs, and Bean
Why are these three Seans ranked so high? Let’s see… one was Boromir in The Lord of the Rings and a James Bond villain (plus supposedly fantastic in HBO’s Game of Thrones), one was the original James Bond and Indiana Jones’ father (who has since quit Hollywood), and one is a bad boy for life.
Nuff said.
JUST SHY OF THE SHIT
Seans Penn and Astin
Sean Penn has had a hell of an interesting career and life… He’s been fantastic as an Actor! (Mystic River, Milk) and as a director (The Crossing Guard, Into the Wild); he was married to Madonna back at the height of her career and Robin Wright back when I had a crush on her back in Toys and Forrest Gump. So why isn’t he considered The Shit? He also got to bang Scarlett Johansson. Screw him. He gets #2 on my list of #2’s.
As for Sean Astin?
Pros: The Goonies, Toy Soldiers, and The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Cons: Encino Man and Rudy. Fuck Rudy.
NEITHER THE SHIT NOR SHITTY
Seans Hayes and Patrick Flanery
Sean Hayes played the zany comic foil to the straight (gay) man in Will and Grace well, and he started a reality TV show to find a new scripted show (which flopped); now he co-produces NBC’s Grimm and TV Land’s Hot in Cleveland, so there’s that.
Sean Patrick Flanery was one of The Boondock Saints (which is a little overrated in my opinion), and he also played Indiana Jones, so there’s that. Neither is either.
CRAPPY
Sean Young and Big Sean
I used to really want to see Sean Young naked; now I really want to see Paget Brewster naked (she looks like the upgraded version of her… plus, I fear I’ve said too much).
As for Big Sean, do I really need to remind you of his contribution to society?
—————————————————————————————————
And now the drumroll please… what, there’s no drumroll?!
JUST SHITTY
Sean Hannity: a man of so many emotions, shirts
This smug bastard doesn’t even know how to smile like a human being! Go ahead and do an image search! He always looks like the turd that he is! Why couldn’t he have spelled his name like Seann William Scott so he would have never made it on here! I’d much rather have ranked Shawn Carter (Jay-Z) or Shaun White if their parents knew what all the parents of the people above knew–
–how to spell Sean!
The Wonder Bread Years
There are degrees to which I get happy about my Happy Finds.
For websites such as Celebrity School Pics, it makes me more sad than happy to find out they have a section devoted to porn stars… so this non-charting Happy Find would be a Meh Find.
Then there are sites like Bread People that entertain me, but not for long, like a pita roll compared to a baguette, so they merit the most generic of Happy Finds. What else could set the bar other than bread humor?
Memba this?
Pica Pic can be considered an Excited Happy Find because sites like it provide unlimited interactivity… until you get bored with its unlimited interactivity. There’s a reason Nintendo stopped making Game & Watch… and most recently it’s called the 3DS.
The last level of Happy Find is the Ultimate Happy Find. It usually ends up relating to a site full of videos, and tends to be updated somewhat regularly. It likely has misses, but there are enough hits to keep you coming back. One example might be Bad Lip Reading. Check out this sample:
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 