This happened on a news broadcast here in Detroit. I don’t know how someone pulled the wool over the network brass’ eyes (or whatever the furry dam-building creature’s pelt is called), or if someone genuinely possesses that name (doubt it would be filmed if that were true), but I won’t spoil the joke:
I’m glad no one at Channel 4 was so uptight to exclude the shout-out, on the off-chance it is real. That usual uppity highbrow mentality keeps cool commercials like this one out of the good ol’ U.S. of T&A:
But on theother hand, our Puritanical ways keep weird shit like this from happening on TV, too:
Born in 1982, Baby Pac-Man was the third game in a series that didn’t have much life left in it. Not because of the slow advancements in processing technology or because the games themselves were repetitive (well maybe that’s exactly why video games died back in the day), but just as quickly as arcades burst on the scene, the movement was deemed a fad in 1983 and they went away. (There were other reasons, too. Check ’em out here.)
SIDENOTE: That’s why Nintendo dubbed their new console an Entertainment System in 1985. “Video games” left a sour taste in many people’s mouths.
But that’s neither here nor there. This is about a dream I had, and it’s about as odd as they get. According to the Wikipedia entry, Baby Pac-Man was a he. And he was born to Pac-Man and Mrs. Pac-Man. But there is no Mrs. Pac-Man, only a Ms. So for all intents and purposes (or is it intensive purposes?), in my subconscious state, the baby’s a she. Pink bonnet anyone?
Well, basically, the dream happened to become the foundation for a feminist diatribe. Baby Pac-Man had grown into a lovely Pac-Woman, but she could not get any respect in the workplace. People kept calling her Ms. and Miss and that didn’t bother her as much as the fact they wouldn’t call her Pac-Woman rather than Pac-Man. People also thought she got the job because of who her father was and not on her own merits. Also, people kept offering her fruits and pretzels.
I don’t remember much else, but I’m sure it all ended swell. But I do wish there was something about mazes or ghosts, though…
"Why do I keep getting spam for power pellets?"
INGREDIENTS: Two different kinds of Powerade, a late night viewing of Saturday Night Live, and Little Debbie chocolate chip muffins.
For the last two weeks, not a smidge of alcohol has quenched my parched, getting-very-used-to-water, lips.
One bachelor party changed the no-drinking-in-May plan (at least for that night). Two beers in, I was feeling tipsy.
The third film in the X-Men series almost killed my burgeoning buzz when it was brought up before the bus bid farewell. Four… ah, I’m at a loss on how to keep this list up. Oh, wait! Four bars is the amount we visited. Five beers came in a bucket at our second stop. Or should I say a fifth of Jack was passed around (of which I passed on).
Okay, yeah, now I give up. Anyway, overall it was fairly trouble free, aside from my cousin slapping me in the face, punching me in the gut, and tucking his feet in my armpit as he curled up in a ball to sleep – all within six minutes (I told you I’m stopping the number thing).
I recall talking to a stripperdancer woman at one of the stops extensively about this:
Like our purloined dispenser, except ours had sunflower seeds, peanuts, and Reese's Pieces. I think.
Someone in the group who will go nameless, but was prone to slapping and punching despite being sleepy, stole lifted a candy dispenser and someone else in the group got really upset about it.
The best man forbid a couple of women from joining the group on its road trip, which at the time, sounded like a bad idea to not let them, but hindsight being what it is, was simply a bad idea, so kudos to him. I can’t get too upset then that he had the bus drop him off directly at home.
Back at our original point of departure, I was done. Well, I was with it enough to eat a few Pizza Rolls.
I guess some of the other guys put the candy dispenser on top of the guy’s car that was getting upset. (Sure, he had a reason for being irritated, but it was meh at best.) I guess that inflamed him further and he smashed it on the ground. Someone else took it upon himself and completely busted it open. Quarters flew everywhere, and those who were still awake scooped them up.
The next morning, the three of us that drove together walked out into the gloomy daybreak. I spotted a crapload of quarters that went unclaimed. My reply: “I would like to say that if I was a kid right now, seeing this would make me happy as hell. But as an adult, I can’t say that I feel any different. I’m not too proud to crouch long enough to pick up a few dollars.”
My cousin and I gathered about ten bucks each. My friend with us had already grabbed about ten bucks the night before…
There’s bad commercials, and then there’s bad commercials. I’m a huge fan of the bad commercials – they’re so bad they’re great. These are just a few to ingest and digest.
The first one on the list is flat-out distasteful, in my opinion:
This next one is hard to swallow (there are many more where this came from that are just plain weird and hella strange):
I must confess. That header probably indicates way more excitement than my actual dream entailed. What made this dream stay with me was the fact that it was so unbelievably dumb, it awakened me giggling. It wasn’t laughing, it wasn’t chortling… it was merely tee-hee.
The fight in question: Blowfish vs. Starfish.
(Sort of) Artistic Representation
Now where could this dream have originated in my subconscious? It could have been from watching this preview:
Not only is Renegadethe star, but Deborah/Debbie Gibson is Acting! in this CGI monstrosity as well? Sign me up! (You see, Debbie Gibson is my first concert experience and an early crush… *blush*)
The plan for celebrating today, a.k.a. Mother’s Day, is this:
Finish this post.
Call Mom and tell her to check out this post.
During phone call, tell her I hope she likes the Forever Postage Stamps I bought her, and let her know that while the leftover pizza I took from her home was fine, the macaroni and cheese had some mold on it. I ate it anyway, yesterday, and I’m still standing today, sooo… Yeah, I also finished a four-year old box of Cheerios this morning and no gastric problems, sooo…
So, yeah, Mom, if you’re reading this – HAPPY MOM’S DAY! And if the product in the video below actually existed, I would have surely bought you one, probably without asking the other three to chip in. Probably.
(EMBARRASSING UPDATE: I was up for 24 hours. I may have a problem…)
How I feel right now... just waiting for tomorrow's hangover.
My daze is waning. My day is fading. I finally have high-speed access to the TripleDoubleU at home once again, and in addition to that, I’ve added cable to the package.
Mmmm, cable… it was one of the few things that got me out of the house besides trivia and drinking and sports and drinking. My friends and family had it, and I’d often visit them to partake in its offerings. I’ll miss them.
So far, I’ve caught up on back episodes of Survivor. I’ve managed to get through The Onion Movie as well as Whacked Out Videos(gah!) on G4. The latest: I’m finishing up the Top 100 One-Hit Wonders of the 80’s on VH1 Classic, even though I know the results of the list. The reason being we discussed this the other day at the bar.
Other topics during recent bar trips:
…
…
…
Okay, well oddly, I don’t remember, because I didn’t really make a point to. See, for the month of May, I’ve decided to give up my Mt. Dew, my booze, and my fast food. Nine days in, I’m holding up quite well, although I’m not really seeing a difference (although I’m feeling it… every morning I feel like dancing great). I am still being social and going out to the bars. How else will I harass others into going out in the future if I cop out now?
So now I’ve decided upon watching the Spectacular Spider-Man on Disney XD (oh, yeah, that reminds me – I watched a bit of Chicken Little earlier today). And I’m not sure what I’ll watch later.
Oh! They just showed a commercial for these, and I must admit, I’m tempted:
…stinking kids channels. Me wanty bottle people and cereal box guitars.
I like both of these songs, as minimalist and repetitive as as they are… but is it just me, or are they kind of the same even though they’re different? It’s probably just me.
I feel the same way about the beginnings of these songs, too:
SIDE NOTE: I like the acid flashback feeling of seeing the old CD cases in the Letterman clip.
On last night’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (btw… can’t wait for Conan’s return June 1st!), Scrubs’ Donald Faison stopped by to promote his new film, Next Day Air, but who cares about that! He has an even better idea for a new movie…
It’d be The Chronicles of Lando Calrissian starring DonaldFaison. I’d be Lando. And it would be before he lost the Millennium Falcon to Han Soloin that Sabacc game. And we would be cruising across the galaxy in the Falcon gettin’ chicks, drinking ale. And the hair would be phenomenal! I’d have to wear a wig or what we could do is just shave my head for back in the day when Lando used to shave his head. He’d have a whole new crew. It would be before Episode IV. So Episode 3.5 or 3.6.
BONUS STAR WARS NERDINESS: I thought of this idea a day or so ago for some reason… thank Jedis somebody else already made it, because I’m far too lazy. I only wish it was made to Alien Ant Farm’s version of SmoothCriminal rather than Michael Jackson’s, as the original runs a little long, but hey… M’Beg’gers can’t be Chewies.
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