TripleDoubleU

InASense, Lost… Buffy, The Jedi Master?

Posted on by sgottahurt

This. Almost. Happened:

 

"There is no try, only do me."

 

Good old George Lucas originally wanted to name Yoda… well, I let io9 fill you in (from their list of “10 Things You Didn’t Know About The Empire Strikes Back“):

Yoda was originally named Buffy. No, really. In George Lucas’ earliest outlines for the sequel, Luke meets a supernatural entity named Buffy, or Bunden Debannen. Here’s how Lucas described it:

Buffy very old — three or four thousand years. Kiber crystal in sword? Buffy shows Luke? Buffy the guardian. ‘Feel not think.'”

And Lucas concludes by saying Luke will become the chosen one, “the human Buffy.” In later drafts, he thought of Yoda as a kind of small frog, and Yoda had a full name: Minch Yoda. In the earliest script draft, Minch has the immortal line: “Skywalker. Skywalker. And why do you come to walk my sky, with the sword of a Jedi knight? … I remember another Skywalker.”

Yikes.  The guy that three years later would bring you this, could have preemptively brought you the above image.

I know, I know.  It wouldn’t have worked out like that, but a guy can daydream and pretend he’s a Jedi, right?

(SIDENOTE: While Photoshopping Sarah Michelle Gellar into Dagobah, I couldn’t help but realize I should Photoshop girls more often.  They’re more fun than Mike Rowe .)

Happy Finds… DJ Kitty? Kanye Jordan? Let Me Google That For You

Posted on by sgottahurt

Sometimes the TripleDoubleU has too much goodness to handle.

  • ITEM 1 – All I need to say is DJ Kitty:

Cats in hats are so funny!  Somebody should make a book like that stat!

(SIDENOTE: Also acceptable as “funny” – cats in baseball jerseys, cats using turntables, and cats dancing.)

  • ITEM 2 – Do you like Tracy Morgan’s Tracy Jordan?  Well how about Kanye West’s Kanye Jordan?

Basically, it’s a game in which someone takes Kanye West’s Twitter messages and adds “Liz Lemon” to them, as if he were on 30 Rock.  Not all of them are golden, so some of the better ones can be found here and here.  The actual Twitter page can be found here.

It’s the perfect tool for the times you want to be a passive smart ass.  For my example, click here.

Hibbidy-Wah?! File This Under “Why?”

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hipsters are fond of mustaches.  Cars… mmm, not so much.  Cars aren’t fond of mustaches, I mean.  Well I guess hipsters aren’t that fond of cars either…

This VW wisely avoided "The Adolf"...

Allow me to introduce the Carstache.  I figured it’s fair game after already sharing CarLashes.

What’s next?

Car perms?

Car comb overs?

Car soul patches?

Car beards?

I found this while double-checking for "car beards."

Just Sh–ty To The Sh–… When Life Gives You Mormons, Make (Sorta) Porn!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I don’t think it’s particular to Mormons, but maybe adhering to its rules (beliefs?) (doctrines?) (bat-shit crazy guidelines?) is strictly Mormon.  A guy that couldn’t look at porn devised a work around dubbed bubbling.  Basically, it’s an optical illusion – and a fair effective one.

But I prefer the old Catholic way… look at real porn and feel guilty about it.

One last side prayer:

Please let these girls be legal.

(More images here)

Hibbidy-Wah?! Facebook On MySpace?

Posted on by sgottahurt

For some reason, my friend Chris went onto MySpace today, and he saw this:

It’s an advertisement for The Social Network, a film about the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg.

I can only assume that because the film is allegedly an attack on Zuckerberg, that’s why it’s on the site.

But still… it leads me to wonder Hibbidy-Wah?!

Why did Chris go to MySpace?!

JusWondering… Which Happened Longer Ago – Star Wars Or Lord Of The Rings?

Posted on by sgottahurt

This originated as a Drunken Recollection, but it was so long ago (or I was so hammered), I don’t recall the events that lead to the discussion.  But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve wanted to map out where other period pieces fell.

So here’s what you get, you lucky bastards:

  • When The Lord of the Rings took place, according to some nerd:

While it’s fiction, Tolkien did leave a telling clue as to his “historic timetable”. Numenor, also called Atlantis, was destroyed about 3000 years before the events of Lord of the Rings. The reference we have in actual historical records about Atlantis date that city at 10,000 BCE. So, the events of the trilogy would have taken place around 7000 BCE, with the fading of magic and the start of the fourth age around that time. (Keep in mind that the Atlantis story itself comes from a single reference in what amounted to a text about political systems).

BTW, BCE is the new PC term for BC (CE is the new AD, I guess).  And since we’re just over 2000 years beyond the nerds estimate, I’m sticking with about 10,000 years ago.

Now as for Star Wars, there is some divide, mostly because people are idiots, and they can’t grasp the concept a long time ago and futuristic technology.

It’s not specified in Earth years, just that it happened “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.” Most of the dates in Star Wars are relative to pivotal battles. The Battle of Yavin is typically used as the starting point. So everything is either BBY (Before Battle of Yavin) or ABY (After Battle of Yavin).

There are two possibilities. The Star Wars universe might be located in a parallel universe and might be taking place in our time. Or if they are in war in our Milky Way Galaxy, the date is most likely the year 3,000. If current technological advances keep up in the rapid pace they are in we will one day live in a Star Wars-like universe, I guarantee it.

That’s a guarantee to put money on.  What a fucking dipshit.  He contradicted himself in his own answer.  In all actuality, I liked this answer the best:

1943

So that got me thinking… what if the Star Wars films really took place in our universe.  Perhaps during the Clone Wars, some Jedi or Sith Lords happened upon or planet, and taught the ancient Egyptians how to build the pyramids?  That would place them at about 5000 years ago.

And maybe what happened in Roswell was a cover up of a long-awaited return visit.

And maybe, just maybe… that’s where the English language came from.

And finally, here’s that period piece map I promised.  Enjoy!

Happy Find… Bieber Late Than Never

Posted on by sgottahurt

I know this is old in TripleDoubleU terms, but I still have met people who haven’t seen it yet.  So here it is – Justin Bieber’s U Smile slowed down to a speed more suited to his fan base.  I have to admit that it sounds… how can I put this in Bieberese…

B U TIF L

This is also an oldie but a goodie.  Click here to watch.  You simply must.

Awful/Awesome Battle… I Dare You To Watch One And I Hope You Enjoy The Other

Posted on by sgottahurt

If you can make it all the way through 35+ minutes of this, you will no doubt be rewarded with some humor, but you may also be rewarded much fatigue.

If you watch it in its entirety, please comment below, and point out which of the 100 ways to love a cat are the funniest.

I’ll admit it – I’ve only jumped around.  35 minutes is about 34 minutes too long for a YouTube video to me.  But of what I have seen, I chortled…

On the other hand, this show debuts as a midseason replacement on NBC, and it reeks of potential, if that’s a polite thing to say.  I know it’s four minutes longer than my usual liking, but after trying the above video out, it didn’t seem so bad.

Plus, Olivia Munn is purdy.

The only question that remains – if Perfect Couples premieres on Thursdays, does that mean my Parks and Recreation won’t be coming back?

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… Avatar Re-Release

Posted on by sgottahurt

Just as a reminder about how uninspiring and unoriginal (unobtainium, anyone?) James Cameron’s Avatar was, here’s a slightly different take on the recap:

The Shit

Pandora Radio

Navi from "The Legend of Zelda"

As a reminder:

As Ms. Swan might say, "He looka lika cat."

(SIDENOTE: Click here to understand Ms. Swan.)

Aang, the one, true Avatar

Now put it all together and you get:

Just Shitty

As uninspiring as the original...