JusWondering

JusWondering… What Yesterday Wrought

Posted on by sgottahurt

Believe me when I say I was going to bore you with the details of my yesterday in comparison with what I expected it to be two days ago.  You know that whole random winter Tuesday/Wednesday gag.  So instead, I’m only going to bore you with highlights.

I’ll just note that things weren’t too far off from what I predicted as well as not at all the same!

  • I started moving at 6:01 am (alarm clock time), which means I ignored one whole minute.  Not a good start.
  • I ended up having a morning that was beyond snooze happy, and had to cut out some of the morning essentials.  I still ate a Pop Tart with  organic milk (Brown Sugar Cinnamon won).
  • On the road, the only construction I ran into was right by my house.  I did get sleepy around Bowling Green, so I stopped at Meijer for a candy bar.  (It was a Milky Way bar, since they were out of Reese’s Fast Breaks… I fear this treat’s days are numbered.)
  • I quickly gave up the notion of seeing a Denny’s for my free breakfast.  I thought they might not exist in Ohio.  I did end up getting a free lunch, though (the company’s VP bought me a bar burger from the joint next door).
  • Things were going well.  I only had to run two network cable lines.  There was a slight struggle getting the router and the modem to communicate, but overall, it looked like I was leaving early…
  • The Snag.  I knew in my gut that there was going to be one, but I figured it would have to do with the wiring or a pc issue.  Better yet.  The router I went down to Findlay to install was to unite the offices so their printers would work better.  This was the reason for the visit.  The router I had no longer came with this feature included.  In fact, it could no longer even be purchased as an add-on.  This meant I had to find a VPN router replacement stat.  Unfortunately, the closest store to carry it was in Toledo.  Here’s some maps:
Between office and store.

Between office and store.

 

Between office and home.
Between office and home.

 

  •  Bonus Potential Snag.  The key given to me to get back in since the workers would be gone was the wrong key.  Luckily someone was still there.  Whew!
  • While I was waiting for printer files to install, I did get to work on a post for Old Men at the Bar.  The computer seized up on me, and I feared all was lost!  Only a little was lost.
  • I finally got back on the road home about 7 pm.  It was three hours later than I anticipated.  On my way back I stopped in Bowling Green to get gas and a Mt. Dew from Meijer.  The Dew tasted like it was mixed with some paint thinner, or something, but I was thirsty. 
  • As I neared the Ohio/Michigan border, I saw a billboard for an upcoming Denny’s.  In Toledo.

JusWondering… What Will Tomorrow/Today Bring?

Posted on by sgottahurt

My experiment for the day (the day being Tuesday, or today as you may be reading this now, or long ago on a random winter Tuesday if you find this in the future – ah, you get the idea)…

I am going to guess the events of my tomorrow tonight.

For work, I am set to go on a road trip to Ohio, and it’s been yeeeaaaarssss since I’ve been able to do this.  I have my iPod charged, my Mt. Dew and water bottles ready for the drive, the car loaded with supplies, and… okay, I know Ohio isn’t far from me in Detroit and Findlay isn’t that far into Ohio, but it’s still great to get away.  Here’s my planned/hoped itinerary:

6 am – My alarm will start going off.  It’s actually 5:42 am because I set my alarm ahead 18 minutes to get me two extra nine minute snoozes (I’m a snooze addict).

7:12 am – I will consider starting to get moving, but I’ll remember the clock is fast and I know I can get another two snoozes in.

7:30 am – I will kick on the radio, grab a Pop Tart (I’ll consider the Hot Fudge Sundae, but will go with the Chocolate Fudge considering it’s not as messy), and pore some organic milk (see Theory Sheet up above for reason why).

8:15 am– A shower, a toothbrushing, a drying, and a dressing later, I will be hitting the road, and moving off alarm clock time.

early 9 o’clock hour – I will see a Denny’s restaurant and evaluate my hunger and time frame levels.  Denny’s is supposed to be giving out free Grand Slams from 6am to 2pm.  I will suspect that I am not hungry due to the Pop Tart and will keep on trucking.

dennys1

around 10 am – I’ll be arriving at the client, ready to perform the job at hand.  I’m slated for six hours of setting up equipment and running wires.

around 10:15 am – I will find out there is some catch to the wiring job, i.e. there is no ladder, no drop ceiling… something that will put a snag in the time frame.

around 10:20 am – I will come up with some workaround.

around noon – I’ll realize I haven’t eaten since 7:30 am (7:12 am real time).  I’ll consider leaving to grab a bite, but I’ll be in the middle of something and decide to work through it.

around 1 pm – I’ll call the Detroit office because the planned connection between locations will have some type of issue.

around 2 pm– Another surprise – spyware is on a pc!

around 3 pm – I’m really starving, but the end is in sight!

around 4 pm – I’ll be packing up equipment for the ride home.  I’ll be wishing I stopped at Denny’s.

around 5:30 pm – After making it through a slight traffic jam in near Bowling Green (and stopping at the Meijer store located there for no reason), I’ll see the Denny’s I should have stopped at, and stop at a Taco Bell instead.

around 7 pm– I’ll finally arrive home, and realize I didn’t get a chance to write an entry for my other blog, Old Men at the Bar, because I was too tired for it last night/right now (how meta).

around 8 pm – I’ll realize there’s nothing on TV I want to watch, and I’ll be glad that I saved the last DVD from the 3rd Season of Weeds for tonight.  I’ll hope there’s more than two episodes left, because I’m hoping that right now.  A few minutes into the show, I’ll pause it and grab my laptop and write a post to see how the day compared to my expectations.

See you again tomorrow!  (Wednesday!)  (That random winter Wednesday long ago!)

JusWondering… Did Walmart See This Coming?

Posted on by sgottahurt

The Superbowl game just started and I saw a commercial against steroid use that uses the slogan, Don’t Be an Asterisk.

Too bad Walmart is in the process of changing their logo to this:

Ha ha, steroid user!

Ha ha, steroid user!

JusWondering… What Superpower Would You Like To Have?

Posted on by sgottahurt

From time to time, I like playing “What Superpower Would You Like to Have?” with my friends.  It’s usually the guys who participate, but the ladies have as well.  To play, you usually have to rule out the standards of the comics industry, like your Superman’s, your Spider-Man’s, and any of the X-Men.  Only straight-up special abilities are allowed.  For instance, last night’s trio of options:

  1. Indestructibility
  2. Invisibility
  3. Flight

Indestructibility was chosen by most (myself included, at first… I’m so wishy-washy).  It was decided that this allowed you an extent of fearlessness that would bolster you upon whatever life path you wanted.  Whether it be in business, in sports, or on the battlefield, you could be all you could be.

Invisibility was looked at as a shady route, which it most likely would be.  You’re given the ability to be sneaky and spy, to be a pervert, or to be a master thief.  No one selected this option… out loud.

Flight was a moot point, until my friend Devin interjected that it would be the most freeing.  He suggested that life would be a little less stressful if you could get up and go when the world was getting you down.  This got me thinking that I wanted Flight powers as well, because it too would provide you with an extra boost of confidence to accomplish more in this world.

Plus, how cool would it be to show up at the Red Carpet of the Academy Awards show, flying around, screaming, “Look at me!  Look at me!”  You’d take all the attention away from the glory hounds of Hollywood (but you’d probably also get shot down to be taken and examined, so… maybe not).

Here I come!

Here I come!

Devin also wondered if Indestructibility also provided some level of Immortality, because as he saw it, if the world blew up, you’d be stuck floating in space for forever.  I responded by stating you probably wouldn’t be the only one in the entire planet that had this ability, which then brought the whole discussion crashing down.  I guess the game of “What Superpower Would You Like to Have?” isn’t as Indestructible as I thought.

JusWondering… Where Have I Seen You Before?

Posted on by sgottahurt

The beautiful Meital Dohan has entered my world seemingly out of nowhere.  I have recently been catching up on Season 2 of Showtime’s Weeds and that’s where I found her.  At least that’s where I thought I found her.

meitaldohan

***sigh***

 For my job, we use a little online service called LogMeIn, and this is the smiling face that greets me every time:

logmein

***www.sigh.com***

Could it My Sweet Meital?  It sure looks like her to me.  My friend, Aaron, doesn’t think so, but I told him how this girl I worked with at The Dive restaurant in L.A. was also on the cover of a mathematics software box at Best Buy.  He started to see the similarities after that.  Further examination:

And everybody has to get their start somewhere:

JusWondering… Obama’s President! Why Don’t I Feel Any Different?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hmm… today doesn’t feel too much different than yesterday… or two days ago.

I guess there is a slightly better taste in my mouth, like I used Plax before brushing, but have yet to put paste to gums.  Barack Obama is now acting President, and I thought his speech was well-played.  All the hope swung around like a fly-swatter at a barbeque during his acceptence speech was downplayed into a reality-based, looking forward, we-have-to-work-together memorandum that I hope didn’t fall on any deaf ears.

We live in a country where very few think about anyone but themselves, and sometimes even those that do think of others, from time to time, need to be reminded to do so.  Everyone’s too busy trying to keep up with the Joneses, when they haven’t even walked next door to introduce themselves (metaphorically speaking).

Anyhighhorse, on with the alleged comedy…

Was anyone else worried that this guy had a bomb strapped under his chair, and that he would scream, “I’m going to hell, and I’m taking all of you with me!” followed by  the Howard Dean yelp?

"FDR was a wuss," he might be thinking.

"FDR was a wuss," he might be thinking.

I also began to wonder if you stared at the crowd that formed, might you see underwater images, like in those 3D pics that were popular years ago?

Stare... keep staring...

Stare... keep staring...

...and voila (kinda)!

...and voila (kinda)!

JusWondering… Tony Danza – Better Oscar Host Than Hugh Jackman?

Posted on by sgottahurt

This could have been In My Brain While Sleeping, but it may have occurred to me more as I was waking up: Tony Danza, famous for playing characters named Tony, should host the Academy Awards this year instead of Hugh Jackman.

Not to knock Wolverine off his high horse, but I think it’s time for this amicable, consummate entertainer to get his crack at another day.   Sure, “The Tony Danza Show” had it’s many flaws, but what about “Taxi” (the show not the flick)?  Who can forget the gender battleground that was “Who’s the Boss?”  And then there’s, um, always “Hudson Street“…

Plus, he’s been in film, and that’s a requirement to host the Oscars (David Letterman squeaked by with a cameo in “Cabin Boy“).  I’ll always remember Tony’s stunning performance in “She’s Out of Control!”

So in the end, do you want this?

When you can have this?

Reporter lady – what do you think?

JusWondering… A New Years Resolution Revolution!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hurry up people of the TripleDoubleU!  Hurry up people of the celeb mags and celeb shows!  Our time is ticking down to put together our Best Of’s… and Top Ten’s… and New Years Resolutions’s’s’s…’s…

For me, I never quite understood what it meant to make a New Years Resolution,  so I looked up the word “resolution.”  According to TheFreeDictionary (since I didn’t feel like getting up to grab a real dictionary), in the middle of a bunch of words I didn’t feel like reading, this phrase popped out at me:

An explanation, as of a problem or puzzle; a solution

New Years is about solving problems?!  I never knew that!  Consider that my first problem solved for 2009.  Or would it be my last one in 2008…?

Here’s a Best Of What Could Have Been on a Top Ten List of Problems I Will Get To the Bottom Of in 2009:

1) Why do eyelashes have to hurt so much when they get in your eye?  I understand their purpose is to keep other garbage off our orbs, but this is tantamount to sleeping in a bed surrounded by swords to keep monsters away.  If some dusteroid is about crash on your cornea, eyelids are your last line of defense – not barbed hairs.

Bed sores to the next level

Bed sores to the next level (x-treme!)

2) Why do socks come packaged in a Ziplock bag like they’re deli lunch meat?  Do they go stale?  Is that why feet can get stinky?  Is there an expiration date I’m unaware of?  (All to be resolved in 2009.)

Feet meet Meat?

Feet meet Meat?

3) How do you go about getting a job as a Going Out Of Business Sign Holder, or as one of those people that look through View-Masters at people holding sticks across the street?  Are they employed by the store that’s closing?  Are they new hires?  Do they go through an agency like Bret did on “Flight of the Conchords?”  And as for surveyors – what the heck are they doing out there?

She's thinking she needs a new loveseat...

She's thinking she could use a new loveseat...

4) Would sour cream sell better if it was called dairy sauce?  I’m adverse to buying a cream that’s sour (it’s beside the point that I don’t like it anyway).  Would people be adverse to buying a sauce with a dairy source?

Still... no thanks...

Still... no thanks...

5) Why are they even still making regular billboards?  Electronic ones kick ass!

I'm like a moth drawn to light... or a fat kid to candy.

I'm like a moth drawn to light... or a fat kid to candy.

6) Why, oh God why, am I better at singing Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know than Soundgarden’s Spoonman on Rock Star 2?  100% vs. 86%?  I’m blaming all of Chris Cornell’s random Mmm‘s and Oh‘s.  Come to think of it… why was I even singing Alanis Morissette?

JusWondering… Mothers of Invention: Necessity, Giraffes, And Crappy SUV Drivers

Posted on by sgottahurt

Keeps the giraffes out in winter, thought I as a child.

Keeps the giraffes out in winter, thought I as a child.

I love infomercials, and I’m not ashamed of admitting that.  Considering I’m in the minority of people in this country that do not have cable or satellite TV (I technically do not have wireless Internet access either… but my neighbor does), I’m stuck with the six channels my antenna can get.  When I’m getting in late from the bar, infomercials are all I have.

(Now I know digital TV broadcasting doubles if not triples my options, but I’d still rather get snowy images than blocky screen freezes and “no signal founds” until February 17th, thank you very much.  And yes, I still use a VCR.)
Anyflobee, my point is this: people of America – there are still things to invent.  Take this recent discovery of mine… the Twin Draft Guard.  How fucking simple, yet no one until now has put pen to pad (and contacted InventHelp.com) and released it on the market.
I mean, I’ve had my share of ideas, as have my friends.
Like, for instance, um, I always wondered why gas stations didn’t have electronic signs, then boom!
Ah, remember those prices 4yrs ago... and 4wks ago...

Ah, remember those prices 4yrs ago... and 4wks ago...

My buddy, Jay, always thought they should have a faster way of paying for fast food, like a stick.  (He loves his fast food and paying with credit cards.)  Then Mobil showed up with the SpeedPass, and now more and more cards have RFID devices in them to speed things up.
Nifty vid:
I also know people who “invented” things like taco holders and glasses clips.  My dad made these for our house before there was even “The Club” for cars:
Does not work on doors made of glass... trust me on this one.

Does not work on doors made of glass... trust me on this one.

 My second confession on this post: I’m an idiot.  On this site, I’ve already gave away restaurant ideas and movie ideas.  I’m serious about the movie idea (original post here and announcement here).  Here’s a humdinger I want put into production immediately: The Asshole Blaster (okay, maybe a name change is required a name change is definitely required).

The idea is as simple as the Twin Draft Guard: it’s potato gun-type device that launches sticky slimeballs with declarations on them, like DOOSH or IDYUT (this guywould totally get IDYUT).  I thought of it during the recent snowfalls we had, and how people drive like physics don’t apply to their vehicle because they drive an SUV or a truck.  I saw more SUV’s and trucks in ditches and up shoulders than anything else.  This would be my prize slimeball for them:

N UR FACE!

N UR FACE!

JusWondering… What’s The Most Impersonal Seasons Greetings Possible?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Merry Mass Texting!

Merry Mass Texting!

So far this year, I’ve received four Christmas cards.  You should know that I don’t send any out, but it hasn’t stopped people from sending them to me in the past.  And it’s not that I’m hoping for them, or judging anyone for sending or not sending me one.  I’m only bringing this up because I received more text messages this Christmas than other years (only ten so far… and maybe counting).

I wonder if the economy has anything to do with it.  Or simply it’s a reflection of my Yulitude.  But they’ve all been pretty much the same old…

Merry Christmas!

…which is no doubt a mass texting.  Again, I’m not knocking the fact that people are thinking about me when they’re going through their phone list (or address book in regard to the carders), it’s just that my sentimentality begins and ends with “It’s a Wonderful Life!”

At least with text messaging vs. cards, I can appear thoughtful with the forwarded response…

Same to u!

…but again, it feels lacking and tacky.  Maybe next year, I’ll try to be the one wishing all a Merry Christmas first, and see how many responses I get.  (I’ll have to make sure my phone plan allows for that many responses.)  I’m already thinking about the shorthand text I could send.  Perhaps…

Merry xmas!

…or…

Mry xms!

…or simply…

Mx!

…can do the trick. 

Man, now I can’t wait for next x!