Animals

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Internet Meme Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

How did stuff like this get around without the TripleDoubleU?

For this round, how about covering recent TripleDoubleU memes?  Shall we?

1) This cat’s name is Bento.  What’s the name of the original Keyboard Cat?

    a) Pepto
    b) Furby
    c) Pepsi
    d) Fatso

2) The original lyrics for this song are:

    a) Fatsososo
    b) Trololo
    c) Tralala
    d) Doodoodoo

3) Why do I love this mashup so much?

    a) Jabba the Hutt (non-CGI) is inherently funny
    b) Parks and Recreation’s theme song is catchy
    c) All the above
    d) Eh, I’ve seen better

4) Who owns this song?

    a) Ram Jam
    b) Epic Beard Man
    c) Tyrone
    d) Amber Lamp

5) What process has been applied to this photo?

    a) PolizziShop
    b) SnookiShop
    c) PhotoShop
    d) RafikiShop (please click)

Answers after the jump

Drunken Recollection… Things To Investigate If I Remember Them (Which I Did)

Posted on by sgottahurt

That's one way to do it...

Do you get drunk faster by drinking beer through a straw?

Per Wiki Answers (and I guess, common sense):

The drinking implement is not important. The speed at which you drink is. If you drink more in a shorter space of time then yes, naturally. Pretty self-explanatory really.

This one was a two-parter: 1) As a kid, did I not watch M*A*S*H* because of the theme song?

Yes.  It’s terrible.

2) Would I have liked it if it had a different theme song?

I don’t see why not.

Is “The Mike Game” a fun game to play?

Yes.  Once you understand the complicated rules.

Somebody told me there was a Polish dog that was saved from an iceberg…

…and there was.  They named him “Baltic”… you know, after the sea Polish fisherman found him on.  I named my dog the same way!

The Opposite of a Hot Dog

Find the update on the situation here (and for an update on The Situation here).  Now I’m going to go grab a beer and a straw, relax, and watch an old episode of Baywatch with my dog, “Outside the Strip Club.”

A Handful Of… Horny Birds In The Bush (Warning! No Nudity!)

Posted on by sgottahurt

We’re all animals.  Some of us more than others, of course, mostly because they are animals.

"Playa, playa, playa play on..."

This first video for the Vogelkop Bowerbird (click here) was found on my sister website, Something Knew (because it’s my sister’s website, you see).  These bowerbirds, from my understanding, are masters of seduction.  Using deer poop.

Birds of a feather...

There are over 40 different types of Birds-of-Paradise (click here) in Papau, New Guinea, and every one of them has the ability to flare their feathers in more interesting ways than this lady bird, or this peacock.

In searching for bird pics, I quickly learned that every photo must be preceded by the word "superb." This one was "super superb."

The Lyrebird (click here) isn’t as much of a (what’s the equivalent for “ladies’ man” in the bird kingdom?) as the above two, but I think it’s my favorite of the three.  Mostly because it reminds me of Larvelle Jones from the Police Academy movies.

And then who could forget about this one:

Worth 1002 Words… Dolphin Uprising Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

Evolution Revolution

Some alternates:

  • Higher Porpoise
  • Robo Blowhole
  • Dolphin Lundgren
  • See World
  • Bad Mammal-Jamma
  • H2 Uh-Oh

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Tim And Eric Are LOST?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I apologize for the lack of timeliness of this post, and the lack of evidence to back it up, but it’s something weird I noticed that reaches a level of Coinkydink or Coinkydonk.  As a refresher, a Coinkydink is a coincidence, while a Coinkydonk is on purpose.

Anyadultswim, I am a huge fan of the phrase, “Fair enough.”  I first picked it up from Tim and Eric’s cartoon (?) Tom Goes to the Mayor.  The titular Tom Peters was equally fond of the saying:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Another thing picked up from both of those shows happened to come from their credits:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Now I may not regularly say either “fair enough” or “absolutely,” but whenever I hear them uttered, BOOM!  I think of Tim and Eric.

While watching Season 5 of LOST in preparation for Season 6, I realized both phrases were said a lot.  “Fair enough” was said so much that a forum practically devoted an entire thread to it.

As for “absolutely,” here are a couple quotes from Season 5:

John Locke: Absolutely. Richard has agreed to show us where we need to go. So I’m gonna go and see Jacob right now. And I’d like all of you to come with me

James ‘Sawyer’ Ford: You still got my back?
Juliet Burke: Absolutely.

Were I so inclined to (or provided I had the time and technology), I would have put together a YouTube video as proof.  Maybe one day I will, but for now, you’ll have to take my word for it.

So what does this all mean, you wonder?  I think the answer is simple:

Are you LOST? Because so am I...

Drunken Recollection… What Would My Detroit Soccer Team Be Called?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Whilst drinking, the mind tends to wander into the realm of good fortunes… and in this case, the good fortunes was a real fortune.  As in, What would I do if I won the lottery?

Of course this requires me purchasing a ticket,  but I do not take part in the “idiot tax” except maybe once a year.

My first expenditure – producing one of my, um, unproduced scripts (which would be all of them).

My second expenditure – a Major League Soccer team in Detroit.

So what teams have come before?  Well, there’s…

Detroit Wheels

So what name could I give my team?  What would fit in along with the Tigers and Lions?  The Beasts, perhaps?

Should it go along with something mechanical, like the Pistons, or mysterious (?) like the Red Wings?

Or howzabout I just name them after my soccer team?

Happy Finds… Confusion Abounds

Posted on by sgottahurt

Sometimes I find too many websites that make me happy.  Today, I found four.

1) WTF Comcast – Who writes these summaries?  Who cares?  They’re hilarious and strange, and collected on this website.

Damn interns.

2) Boozecats – Here’s the math behind this website:

party photo – booze + cats = win

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" they all chanted. Because Chug was the cat's name, you see.

3) Sexy People – This picture says it all.  But if you need to hear more (if this portrait didn’t, in fact, “say it all”), check out this website.

I think I used to have the same wallpaper...

4) 100 Things I Learned – Films have a lot to teach us.  For example, here are some things people learned from watching Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen…

#1 – Don’t let your mom eat environmentally friendly brownies served by white kids in dreadlocks.

#6 – Michael Bay will always stress that when teleporting from America to Egypt, it will still be the middle of the afternoon.

#13 – If a Transformer saves your life from an incredibly dangerous situation, instead of thanking him, tell him you’re completely safe now and that you don’t need him anymore.

Drunken Recollection… Five Ways Jersey Shore Is Like Greenland Sharks

Posted on by sgottahurt

Drinking with friends is getting to be a problem common again, and ye of the TripleDoubleU get to reap the benefits.  

This time around, another blog’s post was brought to my attention.  Namely, this headline from IGN:  

Five Ways Jersey Shore Is Just Like Final Fantasy

Here’s one example shared by both the MTV reality show and the classic RPG:  

Shared Trait 4: Spiky Hair

 

But I’ll let you read the remainder of the list by clicking here.  You don’t have to be a huge fan of both to get it, but you should be a fan of at least one.  

Now that same night, another major item (because Jersey Shore and Final Fantasy are like huge deals) brought to my attention was that these existed:  

It's a "Somniosus microcephalus," duh.

 

Or in other words – the Greenland shark.  

Now I’d like to list some facts about the Greenland shark, and how they too are similar to the cast of Jersey Shore.  

1) Alternate names  

The extra "W" is for "WTF?"

 

  •  On the Jersey Shore, everybody has an alias, like they’re X-Men or something: Jenni is J-Woww, Nicole is Snooki, Sammi is Sweatheart, and Mike is The Situation. 
  • The Greenland shark has more even more nicknames: sleeper shark, gurry shark, ground shark, grey shark, or the Inuit name, Eqalussuaq.

2) Parasites  

Microscopic crustaceans ain't just for the beach!

 

  • I’m not saying that any of the cast members on Jersey Shore do have crabs, but I’m also not saying that they don’t… You just got double-negatived, which is another way of saying positive. BTW, I’m sure positive is a result this group has seen as on innumerable tests.
  • Meanwhile, the Greenland sharks play host to the creature in the picture above (the one on the right, of course).  It feasts on the shark’s eye, causing partial blindness.  Like syphilis.

3) Scavengers  

Yes. Her hat does read, "Porn Star In Training."

 

  • Snooki sure loves her pickles.
  • Greenland sharks sure their love fish, seals, reindeer, horses, and polar bears.

4) Toxic skin  

Mr. Duck Phone feels safer with the poisonous shark.

Mr. Duck Phone feels safer with the poisonous shark.

 

  • I don’t know components go into fake tan sprays or tan accelerators, and I especially don’t know how much alcohol the cast members of Jersey Shore can actually consume, but if I happened to be on a plane with them and it crash landed in the Alps – I wouldn’t eat them.
  • The flesh of the Greenland sharks, on the other fin hand, is officially poisonous.  I repeat – THIS SHARK IS POISONOUS.  Next you’ll be telling me they have razor-sharp skin, too.  (Let it be known, the toxin in their skin does produce an effect akin to extreme drunkenness, so maybe I would eat a Jersey Shore cast member in the Alps.) 

5) Legends  

They could be friends, doncha think?

 

  • Everyone loves a good story, and sometimes the shorter the better.  As for Mike of the Jersey Shore, his legend is straight to the point:

He is The Situation.  

  • Greenland sharks legends aren’t as concise:

Sedna was a girl whose father cut off her fingers while drowning her. Each finger was said to have become a sea creature, including the Greenland shark.  (via Wikipedia)  

Now that’s quite a situation.  

BONUS THING NOT HELD IN COMMON:  

  • Greenland sharks can live for up to 200 years long.  The cast of Jersey Shore will be forgotten about in five.

Happy Find… Cute Things Exploding

Posted on by sgottahurt

Need there be anymore explanation than the title?

Okay, so the last thing wasn’t so cute.  For more, check out Cute Things Exploding’s YouTube channel.

(via AOTS)

In My Brain While Sleeping… A Two-Headed Telepathic Gorilla, For Starters

Posted on by sgottahurt

Ever have the woman you love turned into a cougar jaguar?

Not this kind of jaguar, but I wish.

And on top of that, she couldn’t understand you (and of course, you couldn’t understand her), so then you had to employ this guy:

"A GoGorilla"

A double-noggined telepathic silverback gorilla that could speak English in my brain while sleeping.  He would pluck my thoughts and put them in my lady, and vice versa.

(SIDENOTE: Apparently he could speak jaguar… or he was pulling a fast one on me, because the thing is that no matter what my girlfriend said through Mr. DeBergerac, she still acted an awful lot like a jaguar.  Especially when we were alone together and she’d try to kill and eat me.)

So in honor of my lady-love, here’s a long distance dedication:

No wait, that’s a panther!  I’m sorry honey!  I’ll never look at another black cat!

I mean after her...