Drunken Recollection… What I Can Remember About Camping This Summer
Don't worry. This happened during squirrel season.
With summer finally over, it’s time for me to drunken recollect some of my camping highlights. Outside of drinking, eating, being in the water, being on the pontoon, drinking, eating, sitting by the campfire, beach volleyball, drinking, eating, and peeing in the water, this is all I can remember:
1) A squirrel fell out of a tree.
It happened in front of a few of my family members as they were walking. When they reached to check on the immobile rodent, it sprung back to consciousness and took off.
2) Some cyclist had this shirt on, as well as a bushy beard:
A Whopper of a beard, in fact...
3) There was a plan to tie me to a chair if I passed out drunk.
It didn’t happen on the earlier summer trip, but it did happen. At least the dumping me in the lake didn’t.
4) I pulled a boat via a rope in my teeth.
There is a picture out there I do not possess. I do remember my jawline aching, though.
5) There was a strange song playing on the iPod we took out to the sandbar.
Turned out it was from the film, Music and Lyrics. Here it is for your, um, pleasure?
6) In closing…
Once I reached dry land found, I found a tiny zebra and a tiny cougar (both were pocket-sized).
I carried them around we me (in my pockets, natch) until I witnessed a tsunami coming ashore from opposite directions.
Then it suddenly turned into “real life” and I was at one of my company’s clients that sells medical equipment. I gave my tiny zebra and my tiny cougar to their employees, so they could be cared for.
I ended up finding out that the medical supplier had started manufacturing meat products out of zebras and cougars in general, so I 
I thought they were marketing the meat as ‘hamburger,’ but in fact, they were selling it as ‘wild game’ to a restaurant near my office.
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