For some reason, the world was all aflutter in this dream.  National news, tabloid shows, late night talk fests… everyone was going crazy about how Rosie O’Donnell ate the Muppets.

(Now let me state this here: I have no problem with Rosie-O whatsoever.  I like women in the media like her and Roseanne that speak their minds, even if people don’t really want to hear it.  Don’t know why this is so, but I just thought I had to give this disclaimer.)

Anywhatnot, the media jumped all over the story.  Word was that she had already devoured Miss Piggy and Gonzo, and that she was well on her way to swallowing Kermit.

Dramatization of my psychosis

 But then, against all odds, Kermit showed up at a Hollywood premier.  Interviewers pressed him for a what, and a why, and a how, and all he said was that he climbed out of Rosie’s gullet.  Overnight, this poster was found in offices everywhere:

On Sale Now! (...nowhere...)

 INGREDIENTS: Booze and a patty melt (minus onions) plus garlic mashed potatoes.