Happy Find… We Didn’t Start The Flame War (College Humor)
I’m speechless. You just need to watch this video. Quite possibly the best spoof and satire ever captured in 2:45 minutes. I’ve spent about 24:50 minutes rewatching it.
mel gibson
The $500 Million Russian Bride?
This is not a Conspiracy Theory!
Mel Gibson and his wife Robyn have reportedly split after 28 years of marriage. The word on the street (where the Road Warrior lives) is that they’ve been separated for about two and a half years, and in that time Mad Max has been putting his Lethal Weapon in a myriad of young ladies’ Thunderdomes.
Most notably, he’s been sharing a few Tequila Sunrises with this girl, so he could, um, Pocahontas her:
Her name is Oksana Pochepa, if you couldn’t distinguish between all the mumbo jumbo Russian in the video’s title. She’s a famous model/singer/model. And The Man Without a Face wearing a blindfold, playing the sax in the video is not Mel Gibson. It’s just a coincidence that his name is Mel. Or least he looks like a Mel.
Apparently, although Mel is not Forever Young, he is still largely What Women Want(even though he’s prone to calling bazongas sugar tits), particularly this Russian hottie with such a Braveheart.
According to Oksana, from the Sun UK:
We are different people, but Mel is a grown man and knows precisely what he wants and me too — I know what I want.
They’re both such Maverick(s). How could wife Robyn not see the Signs? She’s sure to want to Ransom his nuts, or at least get some kind of Payback, right?
DING DING DING DING! Time for some math! Yay!
Here are the facts:
- She’s 24.
- He’s 53.
- His marriage lasted 28 years.
- He’s worth almost $1 billion.
- His wife wants half that.
I don’t know what the math problem is, per se, but one question remains:
Is Oksana Pochepa worth half a billion dollars?
The answer: re-watch the video.
(Movies not used in puns: Bird on a Wire, Air America, Hamlet, We are Soldiers, The Singing Detective, The Patriot, The River, Gallipoli, Fathers’ Day, and The Year of Living Dangerously… I probably could have squeezed in one of those last two)
(mostly via IDLYITW)
Happy Find… F— You, Penguin
If I was Clint Eastwood Dirty Harry, and I said to someone, “Go ahead… make my day,” and they pulled out their mobile phone with TripleDoubleU access (carefully) to show me this site, I’d let them go (y’know, because they made my day).
The site? Fuck You, Penguin. The reason why? See below.
Now I know it’s from another blogging community, and believe me, I’m not cheating on you my beloved WordPress. But I believe it is part of my duty to go out and explore, and return like Uncle Traveling Matt with news of my discoveries. It’s similar to how Detroit has better access to Canadian music, then shares it with the rest of the U.S. (As a Canadian may say, “Sore-y aboot Nickelback, eh?“)
SIDENOTE: On St. Patrick’s Day, the radio station Mix 96.7 was giving away an Elmo DVD to the first caller that could name the biggest movie star to ever come out of Ireland. Two people in row answered Mel Gibson. (There’s so many things wrong in just two sentences.)
But I digress… back to Fuck You, Penguin. (Not to be confused with my other Happy Find, Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling!)
Some samples:
In regard to this, the Baudet de Poitou Donkey, and there only being four hundred of them, FUP said:
"You better find a mate and start knocking boots, Donkey, so you can start sprouting up like American Apparels. I don't understand how you can be such prudes, seeing as you are French. What, are you saving yourself for the right donkey?"
Then there’s his tirade at a Porcupine in a tree:
- “Very clever, Porcupine. You want me to catch you, don’t you? You might have cute little teeth and a furry belly, but you’ve got giant quills all over your back, and if I come any closer, I’m going to be in a world of pain unmatched even by what your little porcupine paws are doing to me.”
I think the stuff is funny as shit poop. (Ever notice how most words double-o’s are funny for some reason? Poop, boobs, food… okay maybe just poop and boobs). You may not. And if you don’t, I’ll just call you a penguin.
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 
