The $500 Million Russian Bride?

meloksana1

This is not a Conspiracy Theory!

Mel Gibson and his wife Robyn have reportedly split after 28 years of marriage.  The word on the street (where the Road Warrior lives) is that they’ve been separated for about two and a half years, and in that time Mad Max has been putting his Lethal Weapon in a myriad of young ladies’ Thunderdomes.

Most notably, he’s been sharing a few Tequila Sunrises with this girl, so he could, um, Pocahontas her:

Her name is Oksana Pochepa, if you couldn’t distinguish between all the mumbo jumbo Russian in the video’s title.  She’s a famous model/singer/model.  And The Man Without a Face wearing a blindfold, playing the sax in the video is not Mel Gibson.  It’s just a coincidence that his name is Mel.  Or least he looks like a Mel.

Apparently, although Mel is not Forever Young, he is still largely What Women Want(even though he’s prone to calling bazongas sugar tits), particularly this Russian hottie with such a Braveheart.

According to Oksana, from the Sun UK:

We are different people, but Mel is a grown man and knows precisely what he wants and me too — I know what I want.

They’re both such Maverick(s).  How could wife Robyn not see the Signs?  She’s sure to want to Ransom his nuts, or at least get some kind of Payback, right?

DING DING DING DING!  Time for some math!  Yay!

Here are the facts:

  • She’s 24. 
  • He’s 53.
  • His marriage lasted 28 years.
  • He’s worth almost $1 billion. 
  • His wife wants half that.

I don’t know what the math problem is, per se, but one question remains:

Is Oksana Pochepa worth half a billion dollars?

The answer: re-watch the video.

(Movies not used in puns: Bird on a Wire, Air America, Hamlet, We are Soldiers,  The Singing Detective, The Patriot, The River, Gallipoli, Fathers’ Day, and The Year of Living Dangerously… I probably could have squeezed in one of those last two)

(mostly via IDLYITW)

From Adult Diapers to Cursive Z’s (A Drunken Recollection)

Update: Remembered a Q and Z!  Now with more O!

Last night, as usual, the conversations danced around like the carbonation in the libations.  Here’s a rundown of the lowdown in alphabetic order:

A -> Adult Diapers.  Apparently, some people wear them to rock concerts so they don’t lose their spot.  Discussion of wearing them to the bar any night reeked of laziness.
B -> b (the lower case letter).  A malformed handwritten form of this letter prompted another to mention that it looked like a stick person’s foot.  This prompted me to ask if “d” was the other foot.
C -> Cursive Writing.  This sprung out of the “b” incident.  Heated (lukewarm) debate began over capital F’s.  Capital I’s, Q’s, X’s and Z’s were remembered fondly.  (And conveniently.)
D -> Darts.  The game was played.  I never achieved Swiss Cheez athleticism (see S).
E -> ESPN.  And their stupid show where people play Madden ’09.  To borrow liberally from SNL (and specifically Seth and Amy), “Really?”
F -> F (see C)
G -> George and Ma’am.  “Why do you call George, George, and me, Ma’am, instead of Katherine?” / “Because it’s close to Mom.”  (see W – ha, like the channel!)
H -> Hole.  Courtney’s “Celebrity Skin” was played on the digital jukebox, when we really wanted to play… (see V – ha, like the resume!)
I -> I (see C – ha, like Intensive Care Center… wait that’s not funny)
J -> “Jake’s Again.”  Home of the delectable $3.25 CHEESEBURGER… IF ONLY I COULD CAPITALIZE THE $3.25
K -> Kan’t think of anything.
L -> Lions.  Alex Karras played for them.  He was married to Susan Clark.  They were on a show together.  (see W – not as funny the second time)
M -> Maverick.  Not our ol’ GOP pals.  The increbidle (I mixed up my left and right feet) ride at Cedar Point.
N -> Nope, nothing to see here.
O -> Olympic Figure Skating.  Specifically – Men’s Figure Skating.  Particularly – Brian Boitano, and whether he was Canadian or American.  The argument found footing* in the South Park Movie because he did not have a flapping head.  *(SIDENOTE: db <– regular footing; bd <– pigeon-toed, or shy, footing)
P -> Proposal 2.  In Michigan, it’s about stem cell research, and the funding it gets.  Fun ding?  Funny!
Q -> Q (see C… for cop out)… No wait!  Quints!  We chatted about how the old toyline would prove to be an interesting costume.
R -> Relationships.  I daydreamed my ideal situation – the woman would be beautiful and mysterious.  She would belittle me almost everyday, but tell me she still cares about me.  She’d disappear for days at a time and I’d go crazy, wondering about her, waiting for her return.  When she’d come home, I’d question where she’d been.  She’d get angry and threaten to leave me for good.  I’d withdraw the question and find happiness once again in her arms.  Ah, true love.
S -> Swiss Cheez.  Normally, as an athlete or skilled competitor, I’m moderate at best.  That’s me in the air pockets of the Cheez.  But every once in awhile, I hit the Cheez and look out!
T -> Trivia.  That’s why we were out ‘n about.  Check out the details here.
U -> Universe.  What we’re here for, and how everyone wants to be told what to do and to be like – but you can’t anyone that’s what they want.
V -> Violet.  “Go on, take everything, take everything I want you to!”
W -> “Webster.”  Two episodes I remember from this show: the time Webster thought his photography teacher stole his picture to win a magazine contest (they happened to take the same snapshot of a tree, but the winning pic had the teacher at the bottom of the frame!), and the other ‘sode had young Webster walking in on George and Ma’am getting busy.  They told him they were “changing a lightbulb,” so when Webster’s friend (a girl) came over, they got nude to “change a lightbulb.”  Kids!
X -> X (see C… for cheap)
Y -> You had to be there.
Z -> Z (see C, si?)  No, wait… Zenith.  Did you know they created the first remote control?