Drunken Recollection… The Case Of Two Santa Mummies!

There’s something fishy going on here, and it begins with this guy:

Yes, that says, "Santa's all stuffing and bones."

This was one of my favorite stories from my time spent living in Los Angeles, but now, it has elevated to simply one of my favorite stories.

(SIDENOTE: As a young writer, I remember reading many how-to articles about recycling your material to different papers.  At the time, I couldn’t see how that was possible.  Now?  Lesson learned.)

Anyhohoho, around Christmas of 1997, a pair of my friends came to visit, and they discovered an unbelievable article in New Times Los Angeles.  Here’s an excerpt (the sideways PDF of the article is after the jump, as well as what TV shows were being filmed at NBC in ’97, and a BONUS strange Detroit-centric article):

“I’ve been passing by this Santa, watching him do his little wave thing since I was a kid,” one officer, who asks not to be identified, says. “It wasn’t an easy thing to take, seeing the arm with that bone coming out and thinking there’s a real person in there. Lots of us, I think, really had a lot of affection for him, and to consider having to unplug him, stop the waving, take off that nice red suit and open him up to, well . . . no one wants to think of the Slacks n’ Such Santa as human remains.”

Crazy, right?  I’ve told people about this Santa Claus mummy for fourteen years.  And thankfully, while drunk at a one year old’s birthday party, when this tale was brought up again, my friend revealed he kept the article!  So over the next few days of all three of us emailing back and forth, a new light was shed upon the subject.

The author of The Case of the Disarming Santa, Peter Gilstrap, wrote the exact same article for New Times Phoenix one year earlier!  (To read the full article easier, click here.)

All the names and places remain exactly the same, except for the specific mentions of the individual cities.

So is the story real?

If I look up Laird Avenue, which is mentioned in both stories, what do I find?

How about any history of the store in front of which the Christmas corpse was found?

That sunovabitch double-dipped.  And he tricked all three of us hook, line, and chimney.  Can I blame him for spreading his own urban legend?  Not at all.  I wasn’t local.  I had no fond memories of any mechanical Santa Claus displays.  But I do have to applaud the audacity it took to try to pass the same story off in two cities it likely never occurred in.

It’s a regular fucking Christmas miracle…

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Happy Thanks (For Starting This Great Idea) Giving!

Somewhere in this world (probably Los Angeles, and not because of City of Angels) an angel earned its wings. If this could become a trend by Christmas, I will be looking forward to waiting in line at the airport.   NBC News in L.A, take it off away:

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Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? The Battle To “Turnover” A New Leaf

An explanation may be required: Coinkydink = Coincidence and Coinkydonk = Not.  Happy now?


Came in second as the new team logo

The play book that was successful

The play that scored

Today the new and “improved” Detroit Lions make their debut against the Atlanta Falcons in the first game of the preseason.  Considering the Lions haven’t won a game in quiiiiite awhile, do they have it in them to win?

They haven’t won in so long that a play was produced earlier this year in Los Angeles entitled Lions.  Its plot synopsis:

It’s the 2007 NFL season and the Detroit Lions are on a winning streak — unfortunately John Waite is not. With his lifelong friends at The Tenth Ward Club, he places his hopes on his team, and attempts to escape the creeping demise of his city, and of his way of life.

If anyone remembers that season, it’s the one that started with a winning bang (8-0), peaking with the 44-7 win over the Denver Broncos, then ended with only one more win out of the eight remaining games.  And how could you forget a completely winless 2008 season?

Here’s where the Coinkydink or Coinkydonk sneaks in… former Falcon quarterback Michael Vick just signed to play for the Philadelphia Eagles, so he’s back in the news after being released from jail for underground dog fighting and animal abuse.  Both teams have some dark recent history to overcome, and in this game, who will rise to the challenge?

So is it fate?  Or just the luck of the draw?