john travolta

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… De-Evolution Of The Bar Scene, Explained By John Travolta’s Movie Choices

Posted on by sgottahurt

(UPDATE: I feel like I shortchanged the comparison. See the nickel’s worth improvement below.)

From Night Clubs to Sports Pubs to Corner Bars

The older you get, the more your tastes change.  Whereas you once lived and breathed for laser lights, booming bass, and whatever is in those smoke machines (I like to imagine nerdy children are in the basement clapping erasers in front of fans), one day you couldn’t.

So then you hit up the deal bars (the theme bars, chain restaurants, and sports pubs) because it was still counted as “going out” and “being social” and you were still “getting yo’ drink on” (does anyone say that anymore?), but then it was too far to travel.

So then you just go to the bar closest to home.  You know… those places where the nicotine absorbed by the ceilings and the walls are the only things holding it together.

Here’s a brief history of John Travolta film options that illustrate the de-evolution of the bar scene the older we get:

From Saturday Night Fever to Look Who's Talking to Wild Hogs

From Saturday Night Fever to Look Who's Talking to Wild Hogs

Saturday Night Club Fever – There are no limits to the unexplained popularity of something that’s not quite so good.

Look Who’s Talking On The TV – The possibility that you are dancing at a sports bar is directly proportionate to the possibility that a baby thinks in Bruce Willis’ voice.  Also relatable – beer prices and John Travolta’s paycheck.

Swill’d Hogs – Ever hear of the phrase, phoning it in when referring to something that’s easy?  Well, walking to the corner tavern and starring in a lame film are synonyms.  If phrases can have synonyms…

Hibbidy-Wah?! Monkey Magic, Monkey Doozy

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s stunts like these that explain how a chimp can all of a sudden snap and try to bite their master’s (is that the appropriate way to put it?) face off.  Speaking of Face Off, how much cooler would that movie be if it was about monkeys trying to eat Nick Cage and John Travolta’s visages.  It’d be like Outbreak meets Every Which Way But Loose… Or Most Valuable Primate meets Midnight Meat Train.

What was I talking about?

Vodpod videos no longer available. more about “Monkey Goes Apeshit“, posted with vodpod

In My Brain While Sleeping… An Anthology

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve had some doozies of dreams lately.  Alone, they probably don’t amount to much, but together… they still don’t probably amount to much.  I just think the cast has been strange of late, so here they are, collected as an anthology, separated by photos, natch.

It's a D.L.T. (Duchovny + Leoni + Travolta)

It's a D.L.T. (Duchovny + Leoni + Travolta)

In this dream, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni were still together, and they happened to be the parents of my friend/boss Paul’s kids (his lists are begrudgingly featured on this very site).  Does this mean that I subconsciously refer to them as such?  WTF do I know?  

Anytruthisoutthere, the family went to a campground where the parents and kids stayed on opposite sides. The twisted purpose of the camp was to make the parents forget about their kids as they are set off into the real world alone.  Pretty Roald Dahl-type stuff here. 

So as the weeks and months go by, the two tykes survive in the world with the help of a magical friend, played by John Travolta, looking exactly like he does above for his role in The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3.  As he helps Paul’s kids find their way back to Dave and Tea, Dave and Tea slowly remember that they have kids they need to find.  They prepare to leave the campground after six months, and the child-hating neighbors become suspicious.  When readying to leave their house (must have been a fancy campground), everyone stares through their front windows at them.  It was creepy, trust me.

See what happens when you put Charles in charge.

See what happens when you put Charles in charge.

This was kind of a quick snippet.  In the dream, the TripleDoubleU was all in a tizzy because allegedly there was a quick nude scene in an old episode of Charles in Charge, featuring Nicole Eggert.

Way to go subconscious.  Make dream nudity as geeky as possible.

"Melanie Chartoff and Neil Flynn were sitting in a tree..."

"Melanie Chartoff and Neil Flynn were sitting in a tree..."

I was back in high school in this dream, and the Principal from Parker Lewis Can’t Lose(season one coming to DVD June 30th – yay!) and the Janitor from Scrubs were my principal and janitor.   And I caught them.   Making out.   And possibly more.   I was having a bad day in the dream (of course), and after bearing witness to their deeds, I knew I had carte blanche.   I whistled as I walked the halls, long after the class bells rang.

Meet my brother. He's a Muppet.

Meet my brother. He's a Muppet.

In this last bit, I was in a JC Penney for some reason.  Everybody was dancing around like I was in some sort of musical.  My brother appeared to me in the form of a Muppet and he lead me into the part of the store that basically was Sesame Street.  This probably has to do with what I got him as a birthday gift, but still… weird.

INGREDIENTS: Peanut butter bagels, and probably my growing Twitter addiction (don’t believe my addiction… just check out my last three posts).