• A Hungry Howies pizza – size small – with pepperoni, cheese, and heavy Cajun crust
• A Smokehouse Bacon Triple-the-Cheese Big Mouth Burger, with fries, chips, and queso dip
• A Bob Evans homestyle breakfast containing flapjacks, sausage, eggs, and mashed potatoes with gravy

And after a recent incident occurred, all I’m dreaming about is a better toilet.  The industrial ones at my office building are forces of nature (so to speak).  It’s my home John J. Crapper that’s a “wholey tearer.”

Not to be much cruder, but I’ve taken dumps in many places around the world, and I wonder if the alternatives might be worth it.  In Japan, this is how they go Niban (a.k.a. #2):

New visual for Pop-a-Squat.

In Amsterdam, I discovered “the shelf,” courtesy of German toilet engineering:

Goodbye floaters! Hello shelfers!

I thought I might try to find out something about Australian toilets, like, maybe the “reverse flush” might have a stronger pull, but all I ended up doing was watching a crap load of videos like this:

All-in-all, I guess anything is better than this:

I... think I can wait until I get home.