It’s not like there aren’t enough other reasons to live in Japan, but because things like Japanese Bug Fights exist, it continues to give me hope about one day opening an exotic animal battle center of my own!
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Cartoons, just like toys, aren’t only for kids anymore. We might be able to think the Japanese for that, but it might also be this current generation of man-children at fault.
The following videos are proof of that (only one Japanese one in the bunch… try and guess which one). Why else would there be:
Despite all being well-done, they burnt my brain. Which is the worst?
AWFUL BATTLE… GO!
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It’s stunts like these that explain how a chimp can all of a sudden snap and try to bite their master’s (is that the appropriate way to put it?) face off. Speaking of Face Off, how much cooler would that movie be if it was about monkeys trying to eat Nick Cage and John Travolta’s visages. It’d be like Outbreak meets Every Which Way But Loose… Or Most Valuable Primate meets Midnight Meat Train.
What was I talking about?
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I was at my mom’s house today for some free grub, and she was was watching a rerun of Oprah. It was a compilation of old segments that wowed and moved her (Oprah, not my ma, as far as I know), and I was regarding it without being wowed and/or moved. Sure, Criss Angel and David Blaine can be interesting, and Terry Fator and Paul Potts’ stories are inspiring, but otherwise, meh…
Then Faith appeared (this is not the actual show footage, but you’ll get the gist of it):
Instant tears. Let me say this: there is no amount of free food that makes my sudden outpouring of emotion worth it. Almost no amount of food (a pepperoni pizza with Cajun crust and double cheese is a good start).
(SIDENOTE: In regard to Opie & Anthony, the third segment of the above video – I didn’t know assholes could walk on two legs.)
On the lighter side of doggy’s overcoming obstacles:
Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter’s adage: Never leave your partner behind. Inside burning buildings, it’s his natural instinct. In the cooling embers of his marriage, it’s another story.After seven years of marriage, Caleb and Catherine Holt have drifted so far apart that they are ready to move on without each other. Yet as they prepare to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb’s dad asks his son to try an experiment: The Love Dare.
While hoping The Love Dare has nothing to do with his parents’ newfound faith, Caleb commits to the challenge. But can he attempt to love his wife while avoiding God’s love for him? Will he be able to demonstrate love over and over again to a person that’s no longer receptive to his love? Or is this just another marriage destined to go up in smoke?
This whole affair really got me wondering – am I a sinner for the things I watch on the internet?
Is it a sin to sing about masturbating in the future?
Is it a sin to watch people pretend to masterbathe masturbate?
Is it a sin to watch a Japanese alien wake up with morning wood?
Is it a sin to laugh at a Russian getting attacked by a dildo copter?
Is it a sin to research how the fairer sex can join in the fun of peeing while standing up (and writing their name in the snow)?
Well if I am… fuck it. As the G.O.A.T., Billy Joel, once said:
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The Sinners are much more fun…
BONUS SINNING:
Okay, this is in Japan, but still…
Actually, maybe selling alcoholism is better than selling sluttiness because you know how drunk girls can get! Heh heh…
I’m going back to bed. See you next year.
Here’s a special seasonal one:
Now with more granite!
Okay… I feel like I’m at full steam again. It’s not like I haven’t drank ten pounds of beer before, but at age 33, I might as well be drinking Quikrete. Actually, I don’t even think it’s so much of an age thing, or an amount of food eaten thing. It comes down to a timetable.
In Chicago – 12 lbs. beer / 8 hrs = ah, who cares… I was going to make a big math post about drinking and yada yada… Since it’s already boring me, I’ll shift gears and chat about dead people jewelry.
Did you know you can turn the ashes of a loved one (already deceased preferable) into a diamond? How crazy is that? I mean, I guess it make more sense than keeping an urn on the fireplace mantle, but still.
It may seem insensitive (probably because it is), but I wonder what other kinds of memorabilia could fashioned out of cremated remains:
Maybe a Japanese Zen Garden. How about a fingerprinting kit (human carbon has to be a lot safer than asbestos). Then there’s always an idea like Litter Critters…
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 