So this happened at the University of Oregon…
For the record, it doesn’t look fun or funny. But if someone was playing Winter Wonderland on a boombox… (daydreams… considers mixing the Youtube video)… no, still not funny.
*The school’s team is the Ducks, in case you were pundering.
I recently saw this commercial, and it gave me pause…
“Is this the new record scratch?” I wondered.
This meaning suddenly hit by bus.
So I started thinking about where this trend began, and I think I can link it back to The Hit that I think is The Shit.
THE SHIT
MEET JOE BLACK (1998)
Sure, it’s not a bus, but it was shocking – and eventually entertaining? Most of all, it was first.
THE PINCHLINE
MEAN GIRLS (2004)
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (2008)
GHOST TOWN (2008)
These accidents are used for comedic effect. What the fuck is wrong with us America? (See the Ghost Town clip in the montage below.)
THE PLOP DEVICE
STRANGER THAN FICTION (2006)
LOST (2007)
Dramatic tension is high, and these scenes drive the plot, so… why couldn’t the Will Ferrell hit been less real and more ha-ha?
THE FART NOISE (IT’S SO OBVIOUS)
FINAL DESTINATION (2000)
THE TURD VERSION OF THE PLOP DEVICE
FELICITY (1999)
NIP/TUCK (2006)
These really aren’t that interesting, so check out the montage below.
JUST SHITTY
BUBBLE BOY (2001)
Hey look! Zack Galifianakis! Just don’t look at the rest of it.
PHANTOM POOPERS
CONTAGION (2011)
DEXTER (2012)
These are too new to be found anywhere, butt they’d probably fall under PLOP DEVICE since one had a contagious kid get smashed and the other had a serial killer get smashed. I’ll let you guess which one each belonged to.
MONTAGES (there has to be a pun in there somewhere…)
Got it! MOONTAGES!
My original plan for this post was to write about a collection of strangers I made up stories about while at a concert. There was:
But instead of doing what I just did, I decided to share some Laffy Taffy jokes my siblings and I made up while driving from Chicago to Detroit in two different cars. Enjoy!
Not a very polite beginning, but a beginning nonetheless.
Too easy.
I was not involved in this one so I had to make color alterations.
You see, my sister had this tobacco moth on her tomato plant. It was disgusting… and a terrible guess.
All acceptable guesses. But only one is right.
Sexist!
It should have been a stamp talking to an envelope, but that Laffy Taffy joke probably exists. Hence, convention was turned on its head.
Callback!
This was in reference to me making everybody guess my favorite Wang Chung song.
*Head slap!* Atlantis Morrissette is better!
The Tooth
Some beers that beavers might enjoy:
This post is an imaginary post that I might have written in the 90’s. Hence the monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK, minus the monkeys…
T-shirts are definition in cloth form. They’re not only brand labels, but personality labels.
When I wore Rude Dog shirts, I wanted to be seen as a Rude Dog:
I was usually more in the mood to be annoying.
When I wanted to be as bad as Bart Simpson, I’d get out my slingshot and this shirt:
Somebody ate my shorts.
When I wanted people to think I was stuck up and well-traveled (and well fed), I’d wear something from my Hard Rock Cafe collection:
(Insert city name above... and Ray-Bans)
And then there was one shirt I always considered wearing because they were punny, but never did because they were, well, you be the judge:
Additional phrase: "Something-something-something up-stares."
Boldly Gone
Some alternates:
*Yes, it was one of the posters for the fourth Star Trek film.
For Broccolease
Features included:
(via)
Phone Sexless
Some alternates:
Guy's Gynecologist
Some alternates:
Apparently, this happens:
At the bar, someone brought up the fact they used to play this in high school. (I still doubt they played it. Seems kind of potentially dangerous.) But nonetheless, I didn’t believe, and in not believing, I made an ass of myself.
The last time I didn’t believe, it was about this being possible:
I had to eat crow after that.
Thanks, I’m here all night!
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 