guitar hero

Hibbidy-Wah?! Give Me A F—ing (Christmas) Break

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m running low on my Christmas spirit as I’m quickly realizing most all of my Christmas wishes are not coming true.  Smack that up against with me coming across this over-indulgent greeting card that almost two-million people have already seen (speaking of smack, that kid’s mug is begging for one):

I watched the entire extravaganza, and I guess the guy that set it up used to do special effects for Disney, but still… ick.  The song is even terrible.

It kind reminds me of a light show version of this:

"It's craptastic!"

 (And for the record… no, I am not his neighbor…)

OMBR! (Oh My Brett Ratner!)

Posted on by sgottahurt

The genius that is Brett Ratner – I’m not even smart enough to find the words.  His originality is unmatched; his levels of depth unfathomable.  (Ha! A pun!)  He is the answer to our unanswerable prayers.

Oh, yeah… Did I forget to mention today is Opposite Day?  (Except when it comes to voting… It’s so Opposite Day that it’s NOT Opposite Day… whoa, deep…)

Now grant it, Heidi Klum is one helluva new addition to America’s citizenship ranks, but Brettcrack was paid beaucoup bucks to brand Guitar Hero, as if the popular game needed help.  (FYI: he came up with the name “World Tour” – he’s like a the fucking Stephen Hawking of pop culture!)

This is technically the fourth video that’s exactly the same… much like his “Rush Hour” movies.  Click here for the athletes version and here for the American Idols commercials.

God, he infuriates me.  But perhaps he’s worth what he’s paid… look at all the attention I’m giving him.

BONUS: Now with a fifth commercial (Director’s Cut)!  It must have been difficult to get a German underwear model to dance in next to nothing… I don’t know how Brettcrack does it.