InASense, Lost… I Always Feel Bad When This Happens

I regularly watch Conan on TBS mostly out of guilt for not watching him regularly on The Tonight Show before he got shit-canned from NBC.  But that feeling of unease cannot compare to the stomach flip I feel when someone disses Andy Richter, like comedian Nick Thune did during this appearance on the show (it happens at about the 5:30 mark):

What’s wrong with the world?  Why can’t people just be polite?!  It takes minimum time and provides maximum comfort.  If people could only rectify their wrongs– wait, Nick Thune did what?

Click image for what happened next.

Click image for what happened next.

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The Silver Lining… At Least I Can Still Share “All Star Bowling Trick Shots” With You

This was going to be Worth 1002 Words, but I forgot I had one waiting.  You’ll see that tomorrow.  Instead, I’m upset I can’t embed videos unless they’re of a certain kind on WordPress anymore.  But like the title of the post says…

Air Robinson

Air Robinson

(SIDENOTE: You see, because that’s Craig Robinson of Hot Tub Time Machine and The Office, and he’s dun— oh, never mind. Watch the video by clicking here.  There are more stars than you can shake a stick at.  What’s that, you say?  You can shake a stick at seventeen stars?  Well then there’s as many stars as you specifically can shake a stick at.)

The Sh– To Getting Sh–ty? Keith Stone And His Smoothness Limits

Upon the first time seeing this Keystone Light beer commercial, I knew the ad campaign had found a hero to compare with Dos Equis’ Most Interesting Man in the World.  He was sort of the anti-thesis; the everyman that any man could be… if he drank Keystone Light.

What followed, upped his “always smooth” quotient into undeniable levels:

(In this next one, his smoothness is legit as The Shit… at least as much as a roller rink provides room to be.)

But although this latest commercial originally made me laugh, it’s been bothering me more and more upon each repeated viewing:

I don’t mind Brian, or the fact he wears no arm protection. I even like the continued use of the cougar-growl since the rollerskating commercial. Because that’s all smooth. But the magical fire? It’s a shortcut and a means to an end, but it could be a dangerous sign of things to come.

The Most Interesting Man in the World works because it’s absurdly clever; The Man Your Man Could Smell Like works because it’s cleverly absurd.  Always Smooth Keith Stone exists somewhere in the middle, shy of too absurd.

Here’s an appearance in a Funny or Die video that doesn’t help the situation (mostly because it’s more Die than Funny):

JusWondering… Can You Get Drunk Off Milk?

For the month of May I’ve decided to cut out some of the things that have made my life worth living… Taco Bell, Mt. Dew, beer, um, Taco Bell, Mt. Dew, and beer, yeah…

So far, four days in, I’ve managed to keep up with the plan and maintain the social habits in which my usuals are consumed.

  • Friday – MGM Casino and Detroit Tigers’ game (drunk kids behind us would have been more fun had I also been smashed)
  • Saturday – My brother’s play (totally would have drank afterwards normally, but it was actually really entertaining)
  • Sunday – My friend’s softball game (I’m the scorekeeper, usually armed with a pen in one hand and a beer in the other) 
  • Today – 80’s Night at Comerica Park (booze fest, natch)

Yet alas, here I am, prodding through with my plan, having nightmares about caving in and drinking Mt. Dew (seriously), getting tempted like crazy.

But something strange has been occurring the last few nights.  As I sit down on my couch to prepare for a late night, pre-bedtime viewing of TV shows on DVD (just finished the hilarious It’s Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaBurn Notice is next), I’ve been partaking of a glass or two of low fat organic milk.  And after drinking that second glass, I’ve been feeling a wee bit tipsy.

So I decided to investigate if this was a phenomenon, or merely something in my head.  I remember in the short-lived comic book, X-Nation 2099, the mutants would get drunk off of milk.  So why can’t I?

There are many cases of infantile beriberi (kakke) in Japan. In most instances the mother of the afflicted infant has beriberi. However, sometimes the mother is healthy (concealed beriberi). Ito observed such a case in which the mother did not have beriberi and called the condition “mother’s milk intoxication.” But he afterward changed this name to “breast milk intoxication” because he saw cases in babies who were nourished with the milk of wet-nurses.

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is very provocative in its media campaign about milk, but it is correct in its message. Beer is indeed better than milk for health, as are both wine and distilled spirits.

  • Doing too many shots of milk produces the same result as too many shots of liquor:
  • Bill Murray drinks a glass of warm milk before he goes to bed.

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JusWondering… Did Hollywood Go To Glamour Shots?

When I was at my favorite movie theater recently (I am a card carrying Frequent Movie Watcher), I noticed that they had (intentionally) placed four strikingly familiar posters beside one another.  I couldn’t quite place what was so similar, but they all drew the exact same emotional reaction from me…

wolverineteaserstartrekkirk

terminator4transformers2teaser 

ho-hum.  Just what the ad execs ordered (okay, maybe the T4 poster is kinda cool).  Instead, I think they should have hired this guy:

Vodpod videos no longer available. My guess is that it all started with this poster:

Looks guilty to me!

Looks guilty to me!

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Happy Find… Shawshank Redemption As 80’s Montage

I can say nothing better than what’s to follow.

Lyrics from “Team America: World Police” song, Montage:

The hours approaching, just give it your best 
You've got to reach your prime. 
That’s when you need to put yourself to the test, 
And show us a passage of time, 
We're gonna need a montage (montage) 
Oh it takes a montage (montage) 

Show a lot of things happing at once, 
Remind everyone of what’s going on (what’s going on?) 
And with every shot you show a little improvement 
To show it all would take to long 
That’s called a montage (montage) 
Oh we want montage (montage) 

And anything that we want to go from just a beginner to a pro, 
You need a montage (montage) 
Even Rocky had a montage (montage) 

(Montage…montage) 

Anything that we want to go from just a beginner to a pro, 
You need a montage (montage) 
Oh it takes a montage (montage) 

Always fade out in a montage, 
If you fade out, it seem like more time 
Has passed in a montage, 
Montage
Video from Funny or Die:
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