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Drunken Recollection… The Saga Of New York

Posted on April 20, 2009 by sgottahurt

Holy Magnolia cupcakes… New York City rocks! In preparing to tackle the monumental amount of momentous situations that occurred over my weekend in the Big Apple, I thought, “What would be the nerdiest way to unfold such adventures?”

As if it was the Star Wars saga! (I’m not sure if I’ll do the prequels… I’ll probably do the prequels…)

EPISODE IV
A NEW YORK

As we arrived in Newark, NJ (that we being cousin Steve and I), we parked our car in a 24 hour lot, stored our ticket to retrieve said vehicle, and noted that we needed gasoline prior to our journey home.

Realizing we had no idea exactly how we were getting to NYC via the train system (each for our various reasons), we flew by the seat of our pants, as we’re prone to do, and which usually tends to be more expensive.

We walked up some train tracks to find a NJ Transit machine, and luckily, a woman offered to help us the entire way through the process. She almost missed her train, which ended up being our train as well. Guilt-free help!

May not be inspiring to the locals, but to a guy from Detroit: "This city is alive!"

May not be inspiring to the locals, but to a guy from Detroit: "It's alive!"

Upon arriving at Penn Station (we thought we were heading to the WTC station – we were way off!), I witnessed a monk wearing a baseball hat and an old man in a super pimped-out Little Rascal cart. We reached surface level and my first view was this:

We had attained some sizable pamphlets from underground, and after ripping away all the advertisements, we had all the map that we’d need. We pinned down our location (Madison Square Garden), and our hotel’s location, and we got moving.

On the way, the saw Fuse Network Studios, the Sbarro restaurant that I thought Michael Scott on The Office referred to as “authentic New York cuisine,” and a comic shop that had a Silver Surfer in its window. (We stopped inside because of this, but not much else was going on. This is obviously why they have a Silver Surfer in the window.)

"Look up for power lines." "But I don't see anything." "That's good." (Detroiter inside joke)

Then I had a chance to take this photo up above. When I take things like this, I hope to impress my sis that’s a photog. Eees good, Becks? (Too bad she doesn’t read this blog.)

I think it's so the pigeons can be comfortable.

At my hotel, we had a nice view of the back of buildings, which I still thought was cool. For some reason, there were a bunch of pillows, down below.

Anyhotelincidentals, I have to put the brakes on this post. To quickly wrap up the rest, we walked from our hotel to 30 Rock because of the show (the skating rink is not as big in person). We hit up Broadway and Times Square, and figured out how to take the subway down to the World Trade Center reconstruction. The Statue of Liberty was visible in the distance (has anyone realized her initials are SOL?), and I think we found the area that Will Smith rented jet skis in Hitch (over in the financial district).

Okay, there’s more to come for sure. Stay tuned! (I’m losing my TripleDoubleU connection shortly hence the wrap up… EPISODE IV is not finished.)

Drunken Recollection… A Canadian, A T-Shirt, A.I., And Some Bars

Posted on April 17, 2009 by sgottahurt

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a Drunken Recollection. It’s not so much that I have no Recollection. It’s moreso that I haven’t been Drunken (or I give it all up to Twitter – damn!)

This past night was an odd collection of Items to Note:

Note 1) Our live trivia host sounded identical to Norm MacDonald.

How cool would it be if the pic on the mug was holding a picture of Norm holding a mug?

And that wasn’t a bad thing. It was simply strange, because the guy looked more like this:

Not to be confused with Kris Kross.

Note 2) There was a guy that was very proud of his t-shirt that read, “My Giveadamner Is Broken.”

I couldn’t find the exact t-shirt he had, but there are plenty of varities out there. Apparently, I could have cared less, so I guess my giveadamner was broken, too.

Note 3) The American Idol judges saved someone?

This was playing in the background on the TV, so I have an excuse. Okay, I really don’t have an excuse because I watched the show the day before, and I thought local-yokel Matt Giraud didn’t perform that great.

More "grating" than "great."

Albeit, I would listen to him for 100 years before listening to Adam Lambert sing Born to Be Wild ever again. Or anything, for that matter. (I hope Allison wins, or maybe even Anoop!)

Note 4) CBGB stood for Country, Blue Grass, & Blues?

ZOMG! It's closed!

CBGB’s, as far as I knew, was the place where hardcore punk was born, not country, blue grass, and blues?

This topic brought up conversation about the Fillmore in San Francisco, and how there’s one here in Detroit since Live Nation gobbled up the State Theater and renamed it.

I tried bringing up the historic place in Detroit, where groups like the MC5 got their start, but no one knew. So I had to research it.

Found it:

ZOMG! It's abandonned!

I was thinking of the Grande Ballroom.

………

That’s all I got. I already mentioned my giveadamner’s broken.

In My Brain While Sleeping… Lily Allen, Free Tickets, And The Chinese Restaurant

Posted on April 16, 2009 by sgottahurt

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Dailymotion – LILY ALLEN – Smile, une…“, posted with vodpod

So long as I’ve been following her on Twitter (I made it at least a few posts without bringing the micro-blogger up), Lily Allen has been playing a little game with her fans. Every town she visits, she hides tickets and Tweets cryptic clues to their locations.

I’ve already dreamed in Twitter. The next step was this:

When the British songstress visited Detroit, I tried figuring out the hints, but I didn’t bother searching. My dream changed all that.

I was in a Chinese restaurant downtown near the casinos. What’s funny is I don’t know if there are any Chinese restaurants there, and I certainly don’t eat Chinese (I stick to the basics of pizza and Pop Tarts, thanks).

Anywok, for some reason I was the host of said establishment, and there was a short girl with long black hair blocking her face. She was hanging out in the waiting area, and she kept looking in at me, even though she didn’t have a reservation.

Eventually, I realized that she was looking at my podium, and I headed to the front to see what all the fuss was about. There were two blue tickets taped to the wood grain. They weren’t official looking or anything. It was as if they were made in Print Shop or something.

(Not So) Artistic Representation

I peeled them off and Lily Allen rushed toward me, moving the hair from her face. “Congratulations!” she said with her cute accent. And no one in the place budged.

Disappointed with the dining crowd’s reaction, I shouted, “Free computers are hidden all over Greektown!” Everyone leaped to their feet and dispersed, ditching their bills to do so. I was fired on the spot, but it didn’t matter… not the way Lily was looking at me.

“Howzabout we skip me concert and go for a stroll,” she said. And we did.

INGREDIENTS: Too much Twitter… and Jellybean Nerds.

Worth 1002 Words… Now With Alternates

Posted on April 12, 2009 by sgottahurt

Fort Closure?

Or how about:

Out Castle?
Detroit Kingdom?
Wood Visit?
Who’s Board?
Moater City?

InASense, Lost… “Hi, My Name Is Sean, And I’m A Webaholic”

Posted on April 9, 2009 by sgottahurt

In deciding between calling myself a netaholic or a webaholic, it was only then that I realized the similarities between a “net” and a “web,” and I wondered if such naming was on purpose, but I digress…

Allow me to reiterate. I. Am. Addicted. To the TripleDoubleU. (I was tired of using these “.” for a moment.)

I’d like to blame it on the stock market crashing and I will.

See, I work in IT, and just like how a stripper doesn’t enjoy bringing her work home (maybe that was a bad example), I wasn’t too keen on doing much on the web once I got home. I had five blogs I regularly read, and I played on the Hollywood Stock Exchange (my user name is TakeOne if interested). Otherwise I did banking and billing (and occasional drunk purchases on Amazon or DeepDiscount).

But when the market crashed and EVERYONE panicked, my company’s clients held their breath and stopped calling, and I was suddenly left with a lot of free time on my hands. I never got into MyBook or FaceSpace, so I started checking out this whole blogging thing. Voila! MonkeyBlogMonkeyDo was born.

But now I’m in a bit of a crisis. Over the last six months, I’ve kinda developed a needto be online. First off, I have way more than five blogs to read on a daily basis. Plus I have two (and sometimes more if I feel like it) of my own to tend to. Throw in my recent crippling desire to Twitter, and it’s borderline unbearable. For example, how am I supposed to watch TV and DVD’s without a functioning laptop on top of my lap (functioning = online).

Where the major crisis stems from is the fact that the neighbor’s wifi I’ve been “borrowing” seems to have been cancelled. I believe this started April 1st, and I’m beginning to lose my mind.

I live in Detroit, and my only option for a provider is Comcast, and I can’t stand Comcast (although I do love their new commercials). So here I sit. Writing this blog. Using dial-up.

Maybe I need to get this (click here to take you to the site because I couldn’t post it via dial-up!):

The Innernette! It all fits on one CD!

Also, I feel a kindred spirit in last season’s South Park episode, “Over Logging.” If you haven’t seen it, check it out here. Just be warned – there is a very gross scene that even Trey Parker couldn’t believe they got away with putting on TV.

Okay, sure, maybe I’m just being whiny, but there’s a part of me that doesn’t find it fair that no one else but Comcast has upgraded lines in my area to give us consumers some options.

…mjusayin…

JusWondering… Is This Too Political? Or Just-About-Right? (Update)

Posted on March 30, 2009 by sgottahurt

(UPDATE: Had to add video at the end… just had to…)

Remember that post I did about a week ago where I said I might have been wanting a Dodge Charger?

Consider that post redacted. After coming to terms with the fact that I might be a follower, coupled with the fact that I’m seeing so many consarn Dodge Chargers, it makes me think I’m back in the year 2000 again, and I’m going to start seeing a shit-ton of these:

2000 Mercury Cougar, as opposed to middle-aged divorcees that crave strapping young lads - that would be the 2009 Mercurial Cougar.

2000 Mercury Cougar, as opposed to a middle-aged divorcee that craves strapping young lads - that would be the 2009 Mercurial Cougar (pictured below).

(I had a difficult time finding a clean pic.)

My point being this: there must be some kind of huge special clearance event because too many were made, and now everybody has one. At my office, I’ve seen three in the small back parking lot – two black, one white. Sometimes, to be cute I guess, the two black ones will park by each other. All I can say is enough is enough.

I’m not even in the market for a car anyway, but I fear it’s the sign of the times for the Big Three (namely GM and Chrysler), over here in Detroit, and I’d probably rather see even more Chargers on the road than none at all.

I heard that President Obama wants the companies asking for federal aid (our money, via taxes) to re-evaluate their restructuring plans, and to start, GM’s hand was forced in letting go of CEO Rick Wagoner.

What would I suggest as their next move? I think Governor Granholm should use some of that supposed studio space we’re building to lure Hollywood here, and host a reality show to find the new head of the company. I see plenty of guys outside the cell phone stores holding signs that’d be more than willing to give it a good shot.

They’re already doing the work of sticks in the mud. How much harder could it be to run GM?

"I'm the Rhymenocerous..."

(via mruffi)

(My Boss) Paul’s Top Five List… A Listing Of Lists

Posted on March 24, 2009 by sgottahurt

While Paul’s out of the office and off dreaming up new lists on vacation, I thought I would play catch up. We’ve been too busy at work (and I’m not posting my boss’ lists while I’m playing at home), so since I have a slight chance to breathe today, here we go:

Top 5 Professional Sports Moments [Ed. – Local anyway, and without further explanation]

1.) 1997 Red Wings Stanley Cup Champs

2.) 1997 Michigan Football NCAA Champs

3.) 1989 Michigan Basketball NCAA Champs

4.) 1984 Detroit Tigers World Series Champs

5.) 2008 Detroit Lions fire Matt Millen

[Ed. – Oh yeah. Guess where Paul went to college…]

Top Five 80’s Cartoon Theme Songs [Ed. – With explanations and video!]

1.) G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero – “He’ll fight for freedom wherever there’s trouble…” (This should replace the Star Spangled Banner.)

2.) Transformers – “More than meets the eye…” (Song seemed to be ahead of it’s time.)

3.) The Wuzzles – “Two types of fun, wrapped up and rolled… into one!” (What could be better?)

4.) M.A.S.K. – “Masked crusaders, working overtime, fighting crime.” (Song passes the time test.) [Ed. – I had to twist his arm to get this included – it’s my favorite.]

5.) Silverhawks – “Partly metal, partly real.” (Very underated show. Plus, it has a sweet guitar solo.)

Top Five Stores That No Longer Exist (Now in Reverse Order) [Ed. – My favorite list so far.]

5.) The Old Ballpark – Every baseball card collector’s favorite store located in Livonia. If you wanted mint rookie cards of Alan Trammell or Lou Whitaker, this place had ’em.

4.) Great Scott, A&P, Farmer Jack (all lumped in together) – I do have the fondest memories of Great Scott, as it was our old school place to buy groceries. [Ed. – “Old school,” as in O.G. boyee!]

3.) Highland Appliance – “50 watts per channel babycake!” Oh, the memories of buying our first 27″ color tv and our first camcorder, which was VHS-C.

2.) Babbage’s (honorable mention goes to Egghead Software) – I remember browsing the shelves of hundreds of games for my 286 PC at Fairlane Mall.

1.) Children’s Palace – Heaven on Earth to all of us kids who grew up in the 80’s. Enough said. [Ed. – Also, my first job.]

Drunken Recollection… More Or Less Than Jake

Posted on March 22, 2009 by sgottahurt

Let me begin with this: last night I saw Less Than Jake in concert at St. Andrew’s Hall in Detroit, and I. Had. A. Blast.

It was quite possibly one of the best concerts I’ve been to in a long time, and I’m pretty sure it can be attributed to going with my brother, Scott, and my cousin, Steve, the fact that I’ve been a fan of LTJ since their Losing Streak album came out in 1996, and lots and lots of draft beer.

I swore to try to remember as much of the highlights as possible. So here I go:

We started at the casino. Scott and Steve had been drinking prior to, and I was playing catch-up (I think Steve was playing mustard). Scott was recounting how at one concert he was hit in the head with a full water bottle and got knocked out for a bit. This will play out later.
Having only one phone between us, we decided we should make our way to the show so as not to miss LTJ. We got there in time to see the Flatliners (not the Julia Roberts/Kiefer Sutherland pic). We were glad not to miss any of the main act, but we wished we could have gambled more. Especially once I realized they had Star Wars penny slots. May the force be with the 30-line spin!
We laughed at a woman wearing Mom Jeans and her man that looked like Tom Cruise circa The Firm. Steve would end up befriending them and giving them high fives later, but still…
I thought of a pickup line. Then I thought it might work as a pickup line to ask if the pickup line would work as a pickup line. I was going to ask one girl but her man came back. So I turned to another girl who was way too crossed-eyed to be so snotty in my opinion, and I said, “I heard your brother’s the drummer in the band.” Her response, “If my brother was in the band, I’d be backstage, duh. But nice try on the pickup line.” Steve returned from the restroom or a beer run, and he heard the ending. He thought I asked about the line, but I informed him that I just used it as is.
A gaggle of older dudes (my age) started moshing at the back during the second opening act, which was the more more accessible band called the Expendables. One dude bumped me more than once which caused me to spill beer on Scott’s phone. I turned to face them and the dude’s friend apologized. What I said to appease him, I want to put on t-shirts:

: Like this, but better… not much better, though.

Also, the dude that made me spill my beer wanted to get punched in the face… he told me so. I said I would, but he had to punch me too, kinda like a Rocky/Apollo Creed freeze frame kind of thing. His friend told us to wait until after the concert. I agreed.
Once LTJ started, the mosh pit was incredible. Being one of the taller guys, I’m usually asked to lift people to body surf, but not as many people were willing to for some reason. At the end of the regular show, I decided to go. The bouncer that flipped me over told me I was too big to be doing this. I agreed.
When the encore was in full swing, some of the kids that helped me up before wanted me to do it again. I told them I was yelled at last time, which only spurned them on more. So I went up again, and the bouncer repeated the fact that I was too big to be doing this. If I did it again, I was going to get kicked out. I didn’t go back by those other kids again.
It was about this time that Steve was high-fiving Tom Cruise and Mom Jeans. Scott had been hit in the head, but by something other than a water bottle. This little kid appeared out of nowhere as the main floor cleared, and he was picking up who-knows-what off the floor. I saw the friends of the dude I was supposed to punch, but they lost him. They informed me that if I saw him, I should swing for his right eye, because his left eye was already bruised. I agreed.
Scott was going to sleep in the car while Steve and I would gamble more. We parted ways at the garage. As we were wandering around in the casino, we ran into Scott. He couldn’t find the car. It was amazing to stumble across each other because only Scott had a phone. Lucky!
I lost ten bucks in the Star Wars penny slots. I would have only lost five, but a woman asked me to watch her spot so she could run to the restroom. I only had thirty cents left, so I threw in another five. More or Less Than Jake, it was a good night.

Happy Find… F— You, Penguin

Posted on March 20, 2009 by sgottahurt

If I was Clint Eastwood Dirty Harry, and I said to someone, “Go ahead… make my day,” and they pulled out their mobile phone with TripleDoubleU access (carefully) to show me this site, I’d let them go (y’know, because they made my day).

The site? Fuck You, Penguin. The reason why? See below.

Now I know it’s from another blogging community, and believe me, I’m not cheating on you my beloved WordPress. But I believe it is part of my duty to go out and explore, and return like Uncle Traveling Matt with news of my discoveries. It’s similar to how Detroit has better access to Canadian music, then shares it with the rest of the U.S. (As a Canadian may say, “Sore-y aboot Nickelback, eh?“)

SIDENOTE: On St. Patrick’s Day, the radio station Mix 96.7 was giving away an Elmo DVD to the first caller that could name the biggest movie star to ever come out of Ireland. Two people in row answered Mel Gibson. (There’s so many things wrong in just two sentences.)

But I digress… back to Fuck You, Penguin. (Not to be confused with my other Happy Find, Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling!)

Some samples:

In regard to this, the Baudet de Poitou Donkey, and there only being four hundred of them, FUP said:

"You better find a mate and start knocking boots, Donkey, so you can start sprouting up like American Apparels. I don't understand how you can be such prudes, seeing as you are French. What, are you saving yourself for the right donkey?"

Then there’s his tirade at a Porcupine in a tree:

: “Very clever, Porcupine. You want me to catch you, don’t you? You might have cute little teeth and a furry belly, but you’ve got giant quills all over your back, and if I come any closer, I’m going to be in a world of pain unmatched even by what your little porcupine paws are doing to me.”

I think the stuff is funny as shit poop. (Ever notice how most words double-o’s are funny for some reason? Poop, boobs, food… okay maybe just poop and boobs). You may not. And if you don’t, I’ll just call you a penguin.

JusWondering… Does The Dodge Charger Come With Any Gimmicks? No, Don’t Tell Me

Posted on March 19, 2009 by sgottahurt

I’m not sure if I’ve fallen victim to marketing, or if I’m getting the “new car bug,” but lately I can’t stop staring any time I see one of these:

Dodge Charger

It looks so mean and sporty – it’s so unlike the picks in my past. I just hope that I don’t find out about any special features in it. For example, I bought one of these because people threw a Frisbee through it’s open sides in a commercial:

Honda Element

Well, there was the Frisbee thing, but there also was the fact you could hose out the inside (which I never did), plus I could live in it if necessary because the seats folded into a bed. That last reason was probably the same reason why this car vehicle thing on four wheels caught my eye once upon a time:

Pontiac Aztec, with "tent" feature

Also, the Aztec had a normal power cord plug in the dashboard. What can I say? I’m easy.

I bought my current Honda Civic because the dashboard had blue lights. I must have been a moth in a past life…

Ooooh... shiny...

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