conspiracy theory

Happy Find… Fun, Fun, Fun Conspiracy Theory Of The (Last) Year

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m very late to this, but since it was new to me and I found it enjoyable, I shall share it with you:

Sorry if it’s fuzzy… transcript below…

(via)

What the theory states:

The song [Rebecca Black’s Friday] is about the JFK assassination.  The name of the driver of the car he was assassinated in was Samuel Kicken (Kickin’ in the front seat, sittin’ in the back seat…)

The assassination occurred on a Friday, and when he was shot, the Secret Service yelled at Jackie Kennedy to “get down” (Gotta get down on Friday…)

Parts about the Cold War and the spread of Communism are referenced (Everybody’s rushin’ = Everybody’s Russian…)

And to top it all off, in the hotel that morning, JFK declined a breakfast of sausage, eggs, and toast for a bowl of Bran Flakes instead (Gotta have my bowl/ Gotta have cereal…)

Also, the following Monday, JFK was supposed to sign a bill into law requiring all public schools to provide bus transportation for their students (Gotta catch my bus…)

Now, I’d like to believe this is all true, but the very first item I cross-referenced (JFK’s driver was Sam Kinney, not Sam Kicken) came up as a negative, so rather than destroy the beauty of its lunacy, I’m gonna stop there.

Drunken Recollection… Denver Airport Conspiracy

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m a man that prefers simple.  Cut to the chase.  No silly games.  WYSIWYG.

But I’m also the kind of guy that enjoys the bizarre.  Against the grain.  Conspiracies.  WTF.

This Drunken Recollection involves the latter.  One night after soccer, my friend Chris mentioned that my brother had a flight layover at the Denver International Airport, and that he had asked him if he’d witnessed anything strange.

I didn’t know what he was referring to, so he pointed out the likes of this:

Okay, well, that borders on the irrational and fantastical (and kind of insane), but the main thing was that these types of conspiracies existed.

About an airport.

And none of it dealt with the fact it was a international airport nowhere near any other nations.

The DIA Conspiracy Files blog delves further into other aspects, but as a (rational) counterpoint, here ya go:

I still don’t understand why a city in just about the middle of the state would be international:

It's the cream-filling between Mexico and Canada.

The $500 Million Russian Bride?

Posted on by sgottahurt

meloksana1

This is not a Conspiracy Theory!

Mel Gibson and his wife Robyn have reportedly split after 28 years of marriage.  The word on the street (where the Road Warrior lives) is that they’ve been separated for about two and a half years, and in that time Mad Max has been putting his Lethal Weapon in a myriad of young ladies’ Thunderdomes.

Most notably, he’s been sharing a few Tequila Sunrises with this girl, so he could, um, Pocahontas her:

Her name is Oksana Pochepa, if you couldn’t distinguish between all the mumbo jumbo Russian in the video’s title.  She’s a famous model/singer/model.  And The Man Without a Face wearing a blindfold, playing the sax in the video is not Mel Gibson.  It’s just a coincidence that his name is Mel.  Or least he looks like a Mel.

Apparently, although Mel is not Forever Young, he is still largely What Women Want(even though he’s prone to calling bazongas sugar tits), particularly this Russian hottie with such a Braveheart.

According to Oksana, from the Sun UK:

We are different people, but Mel is a grown man and knows precisely what he wants and me too — I know what I want.

They’re both such Maverick(s).  How could wife Robyn not see the Signs?  She’s sure to want to Ransom his nuts, or at least get some kind of Payback, right?

DING DING DING DING!  Time for some math!  Yay!

Here are the facts:

  • She’s 24. 
  • He’s 53.
  • His marriage lasted 28 years.
  • He’s worth almost $1 billion. 
  • His wife wants half that.

I don’t know what the math problem is, per se, but one question remains:

Is Oksana Pochepa worth half a billion dollars?

The answer: re-watch the video.

(Movies not used in puns: Bird on a Wire, Air America, Hamlet, We are Soldiers,  The Singing Detective, The Patriot, The River, Gallipoli, Fathers’ Day, and The Year of Living Dangerously… I probably could have squeezed in one of those last two)

(mostly via IDLYITW)