burger king

InASense, Lost… Burger King Kills, But Not Like You Think

Posted on by sgottahurt

Okay, this one I get:

"I told you already... they don't have Happy Meals here."

And this one is clever (even though the glove is on the – NERD ALERT! – wrong hand):

"Did you want fried face with that?"

This one took a second glance to figure out he had mustard on his gown.  Smock.  Robe?  I think I like “smock”…

Burger King really does put a lot of mustard on their burgers.

But something about this ad bothers me:

Haha, ha-- I don't get it.

The other ‘verts border on – dare I say it – cutesiness, whereas this one actually contains a deceased body in it.  And not just any body, but a cheerleader.  And not just a cheerleader, but a young lady in a strangely selected position.

It’s simply… tasteless overkill.  And not in this (have it your) way:

More than a mouthful is truly a waist... grower...

(The campaign is a foreign one.  Wonder if that has anything to do with it…)

All I Want For Christmas Is… A New Fast Food Joint

Posted on by sgottahurt

How about Pasta La Feasta's instead?

How about Pasta La Feasta's instead?

About a month ago, when I realized I had become a drive-thru regular at Taco Bell, I created a post that gave a few ideas to entrepreneurs for new restaurant chains (Kabob Stop, Dim Sum Gong, Pierogi To Go, and Taka Sushi).

After having some time to think, and after getting sick of my same old options (Wendy’s, KFC, Arby’s, the aforementioned Bell, Culver’s, Burger King, Quizno’s, Jimmy Johns, Potbelly, Qdoba, National Coney Island, Kerby Coney Island, CiCi’s, A&W, Mickey D’s, and Hungry Howies), I’m really craving a change.

They tried putting in a Del Taco nearby my work (ugh) and the nearest Sonic is still a good 40 miles away.

What I think is missing (besides the places I created) is a fast food Italian cuisine.  Fazoli’s was the closest thing we had to that, and although it wasn’t the absolute greatest, it worked.  Too bad they shut ’em all down in Michigan.

If anyone wants to take me up on my ideas, go for the Polish one first.  I probably won’t eat at the other places anyway.

Zima’s Not Even Cold In The Ground

Posted on by sgottahurt

This past week, MillerCoors announced that they’re “cancelling” Zima.

They’ve declared the “malternative” nation dead.

Though it may not be “malternatively” kosher, there’s a new kid on the block!  (No, really, look… it’s Danny Wood… the New Kid no one remembers… he’s working at the Burger King by my house…) (from Luxist)

Pernod Absinthe is a revival of Pernod Fils, arguably the most authentic absinthe ever produced with a recipe that’s over 200 years old… The original is a high-proof sprit distilled from Grand Wormwood, fennel and anise – exactly the same as consumed by the likes of Picasso, Van Gogh, Monet, and now, us.

“Pernod’s the right stuff to get get me through those long shifts at night, when all those drunk assholes come through the drive-thru, ordering Big Macs or Nacho Bell Grandes like they’re so fucking original,” Danny might say.