bratz dolls

InASense, Lost… A Pole Dancer Doll? I Give Up

Posted on by sgottahurt

Put a fork in me.  I’m done.  No seriously.  I’m totally cooked in inside, or roasted, or toasted, or melty gooey.  Forget the fork; get a pitchfork. 

Even though it’s not available here (although lest we forget, we still have Bratz Dolls… go hourglass figure), this still exists in the world:

pole_dance_doll

Are the coke habit and bastard child being watched by mom sold separately?

Naive me first thought that the doll might be this kind of Poll Dancer: 

polldancer

"I'm taking a survey... It'll cost you $1 per answer."

Even if it’s culturally insensitive (but it’s okay to say because I am one), this would have been an acceptable Pole Dancer toy: 

poledancer

The Polish are good at four things: dancing, drinking, and counting.

I mean, with that doll existing, what’s the worst that could happen? 

babypoledance

Are there enough pitchforks to go-go around?

InASense, Lost… Frightening Stuffed Dogs

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s Christmas, and as Perry Como likes to claim (even though he’s lying!), “The traffic is terrific!”

I, myself, on the other hand, insert foot in mouth, would like to point out something that is not so terrific, and may in fact be terrifying.  Check out this ad for a toy that takes the “Pound Puppies” into the “Bratz” teritory (sorry… got on an italics kick).  World meet “Tini Puppini“:

As the Little Drummer Boy might ask, “Do you hear what I hear?”  Go back to about the 0:22 mark on the video.  Besides the overall sluttiness we’re selling to our youth (which I don’t personally don’t have a problem with because when these girls turn 18… yowza!), do we really have to sell slutty dogs, too?

Okay, now if you heard “You’re such a ho!” I want you to go back and listen again with this pun in mind: “You’re such a howl!”  Did you do it?  You won’t hear ho again after knowing that’s what they say.

Anyho, I was kidding about the slutty kid thing above… It really is scary that backwards-ass parents would even consider wrapping up anything like this or “Bratz” dolls for their daughters as a gift.  I say, let girls become ho’s on their own terms, in their own time.  They don’t need dolls and stuffed animals to rush them.  Or shorts or sweatpants with writing on the butt… As much as I love reading asses, kids should have a clean slate.

BONUS SCARY STUFFED ANIMAL ACTION (via The Ghost Hunters via The Soup):

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