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In Defense Of… Jon Benjamin Has A Van

Posted on July 29, 2011 by sgottahurt

I feel like I’m alone on an island, or in a windowless van, because nobody else I know likes Jon Benjamin Has a Van.

As someone put it (while I was likely drunk, so I don’t remember who):

It’s too weird to be mainstream, and not weird enough to be Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!

If you’re unfamiliar with anything I’m talking about, here’s a clip from JBHV:

Come on… that’s funny… enough.

Everything can’t be It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia:

Here’s the thing – H. Jon Benjamin is overdue for some serious screen time. The first thing I saw him in was Baby Pranks, and that’s from 2006:

That was on the DVD for Home Movies, in which he played Coach McGuirk:

And don’t forget about his roles as/in Archer and Bob’s Burgers:

I guess what I’m saying is that it’s on Cartoon Network, they have weird things that require an acquired taste.

Hmm, what was that? It’s on Comedy Central?

Jon Benjamin Has a Van, you will be missed, by only me apparently. May you one day get referenced by Daniel Tosh before a commercial break.

Worth 1002 Words… There’s My Chippy Edition

Posted on July 13, 2010 by sgottahurt

Great Job!

Some alternates:

Clean Shave
Infant Ink
Sh–ty Chippy
Tat Who?

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Tim And Eric Are LOST?

Posted on February 21, 2010 by sgottahurt

I apologize for the lack of timeliness of this post, and the lack of evidence to back it up, but it’s something weird I noticed that reaches a level of Coinkydink or Coinkydonk. As a refresher, a Coinkydink is a coincidence, while a Coinkydonk is on purpose.

Anyadultswim, I am a huge fan of the phrase, “Fair enough.” I first picked it up from Tim and Eric’s cartoon (?) Tom Goes to the Mayor. The titular Tom Peters was equally fond of the saying:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Another thing picked up from both of those shows happened to come from their credits:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Now I may not regularly say either “fair enough” or “absolutely,” but whenever I hear them uttered, BOOM! I think of Tim and Eric.

While watching Season 5 of LOST in preparation for Season 6, I realized both phrases were said a lot. “Fair enough” was said so much that a forum practically devoted an entire thread to it.

As for “absolutely,” here are a couple quotes from Season 5:

John Locke: Absolutely. Richard has agreed to show us where we need to go. So I’m gonna go and see Jacob right now. And I’d like all of you to come with me

James ‘Sawyer’ Ford: You still got my back?
Juliet Burke: Absolutely.

Were I so inclined to (or provided I had the time and technology), I would have put together a YouTube video as proof. Maybe one day I will, but for now, you’ll have to take my word for it.

So what does this all mean, you wonder? I think the answer is simple:

Are you LOST? Because so am I...

InASense, Lost… “Hi, My Name Is Sean, And I’m A Webaholic”

Posted on April 9, 2009 by sgottahurt

In deciding between calling myself a netaholic or a webaholic, it was only then that I realized the similarities between a “net” and a “web,” and I wondered if such naming was on purpose, but I digress…

Allow me to reiterate. I. Am. Addicted. To the TripleDoubleU. (I was tired of using these “.” for a moment.)

I’d like to blame it on the stock market crashing and I will.

See, I work in IT, and just like how a stripper doesn’t enjoy bringing her work home (maybe that was a bad example), I wasn’t too keen on doing much on the web once I got home. I had five blogs I regularly read, and I played on the Hollywood Stock Exchange (my user name is TakeOne if interested). Otherwise I did banking and billing (and occasional drunk purchases on Amazon or DeepDiscount).

But when the market crashed and EVERYONE panicked, my company’s clients held their breath and stopped calling, and I was suddenly left with a lot of free time on my hands. I never got into MyBook or FaceSpace, so I started checking out this whole blogging thing. Voila! MonkeyBlogMonkeyDo was born.

But now I’m in a bit of a crisis. Over the last six months, I’ve kinda developed a needto be online. First off, I have way more than five blogs to read on a daily basis. Plus I have two (and sometimes more if I feel like it) of my own to tend to. Throw in my recent crippling desire to Twitter, and it’s borderline unbearable. For example, how am I supposed to watch TV and DVD’s without a functioning laptop on top of my lap (functioning = online).

Where the major crisis stems from is the fact that the neighbor’s wifi I’ve been “borrowing” seems to have been cancelled. I believe this started April 1st, and I’m beginning to lose my mind.

I live in Detroit, and my only option for a provider is Comcast, and I can’t stand Comcast (although I do love their new commercials). So here I sit. Writing this blog. Using dial-up.

Maybe I need to get this (click here to take you to the site because I couldn’t post it via dial-up!):

The Innernette! It all fits on one CD!

Also, I feel a kindred spirit in last season’s South Park episode, “Over Logging.” If you haven’t seen it, check it out here. Just be warned – there is a very gross scene that even Trey Parker couldn’t believe they got away with putting on TV.

Okay, sure, maybe I’m just being whiny, but there’s a part of me that doesn’t find it fair that no one else but Comcast has upgraded lines in my area to give us consumers some options.

…mjusayin…

JusWondering… Is Josh Groban Cool?

Posted on March 18, 2009 by sgottahurt

This has been something creeping in the back of my mind for awhile now. I mean, if you have a voice like he does, you have to use it in the genre it works best (makes you shitloads of money earns you a living). But ever since his appearance in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m F’n Ben Affleck,” the case study has been building.

EXHIBIT A – “I’m F’n Ben Affleck”

This is a TripleDoubleU phenom and a played out meme, but as a refresher, check out the 7:40 mark:

EXHIBIT B – “2008 Emmy TV Theme Song Medley”

By no means or stretch of the imagination is any of this good. But the fact that he willingly participated in it speaks volumes (to me at least). I’d like to think he knew those theme songs by heart before this idea was ever a twinkle sty in anyone’s eye:

XZIBIT C – “You Don’t Know Me” by Ben Folds and Regina Spektor

Directed by the awesome Tim and Eric (of “Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show, Great Job!“), Josh Groban makes a guest appearance twice in Ben Folds‘ video, while for some reason, Regina Spektor does not. Check him out at the 2:46 and 3:07 marks:

In closing, you’ll have to judge whether Josh Groban is cool or not, but based on the above samples, I think he is cool.

If you want to judge my judging, I used to think this was cool:

JusWondering… RidiculouZodiac Or SerioZodiac?

Posted on March 12, 2009 by sgottahurt

For anyone who’s willing to be delighted by lounge songs about the zodiac, coupled with some of the finest dancing this side of the Jabbawockeez, here’s a compilation of Harvey Sid Fisher informing entertaining infotaining us about what it means to be each of the signs. If you can’t wait for yours, the breakdown goes like this:

0:00 – “I am, I am, I am the Ram.” (Aries)

0:50 – “Talk about the Taurus, talk about the bully bull bull.”

1:28 – “One twin does the making love, the other likes to watch.” (Gemini)

2:24 – “Moonchild, moonchild…” (Cancer)

3:10 – “I need more sex than most that’s just a fact not a boast.” (Leo)

3:56 – “Virgooooo, VirgoOOOoooOOOooo…”

4:42 – “Lib-Liba-Libra, Lib-Liba-Libra…”

5:29 – “I can see right through your soul and out the other end.” (Scorpio)

6:11 – “I’m a Sag’, I’m a Sag’, I’m a Sag’…” (Sag… ittarius)

6:57 – “I was born a Capra, I was born a Capra, I was born a Capricorn.”

7:48 – “Cuz’ I am in love with humanity, it’s just some people that I cannot stand.” (Aquarius)

8:36 – “Puh-Puh-Puh-Pisces, Puh-Puh-Puh-Pisces…”

Kinda reminds me of James Quall:

In My Brain While Sleeping… Short and Sweet

Posted on October 31, 2008 by sgottahurt

I’ll cut these odd, recollected flashings to the point:

The Short:

Just like them, except more thumb-like

There was a pair of thumb-shaped people. Each of them were about two-feet tall, one man, one woman. They dressed in the style of traditional (stereotypical?) Dutch people. The weird thing was the guy had to stay laying down, otherwise his organs would shift and kill him, and the lady had to stay standing for the same reason. They were on a news report in my dream that stated, “They’re perfect for each other. He can pick up low things, and she can grab things that are high… well, two-feet high…”

The Sweet:

Not pictured: me, spaghetti

I was hanging out with Posh and Becks. We were at their house, in which everything was pure white – the fancy carpet, the leather couches, the marble end tables. Posh was leaning over the end table, leafing through magazines. Becks was relaxing across one of the couches (I think it was the love seat, but I didn’t want to put that… oops… at least I didn’t put he was shirtless… damn!) I was sitting on the floor across from Posh, at the end of the coffee table. We were all eating spaghetti for some reason. Finis.