Coast-To-Coast Snug Job A No-Go

How’s that for a headline?  Can’t you just hear the newsies singing screaming that one?  As it turns out, two weekends ago I went to NYC for a Snuggie Pub Crawl (and also met a friend).  This weekend, I went to Seattle to visit a friend… and almost went on a Snuggie Pub Crawl! 

snugpubnogo1

"Pub Crawl or Bust!" - soon to be printed on the front of my Snuggie

Alas, my travelling compadres on this latest sojourn weren’t too keen on picking up some “Slankets” (as they were referred to on last week’s 30 Rock), and we opted for traditional bar hopping, which was just as well.  Albeit Seattle was a tad cooler than New York the week prior (making “blankets with sleeves” more comfy), which is ironic, because NYC is simply ‘cooler.’  No offense, Seattle, but no other city can compete.

SIDENOTE: Whenever I use the word ironic, I’m always afraid I’ll pull an Alanis.  Am I alone in regard to this ‘worry?’

BONUS SIDENOTE: I’d say the biggest difference between the East and West Coasts (or at least New York and Seattle) is what follows the prefix hip-… Do you prefer –sters or –pies?

Anywashington, the trip was a great time.  To conserve my energy, which is a euphemism for I’m feeling lazy today, here are some pics I took with explanatory captions.

JusWondering… A New Years Resolution Revolution!

Hurry up people of the TripleDoubleU!  Hurry up people of the celeb mags and celeb shows!  Our time is ticking down to put together our Best Of’s… and Top Ten’s… and New Years Resolutions’s’s’s…’s…

For me, I never quite understood what it meant to make a New Years Resolution,  so I looked up the word “resolution.”  According to TheFreeDictionary (since I didn’t feel like getting up to grab a real dictionary), in the middle of a bunch of words I didn’t feel like reading, this phrase popped out at me:

An explanation, as of a problem or puzzle; a solution

New Years is about solving problems?!  I never knew that!  Consider that my first problem solved for 2009.  Or would it be my last one in 2008…?

Here’s a Best Of What Could Have Been on a Top Ten List of Problems I Will Get To the Bottom Of in 2009:

1) Why do eyelashes have to hurt so much when they get in your eye?  I understand their purpose is to keep other garbage off our orbs, but this is tantamount to sleeping in a bed surrounded by swords to keep monsters away.  If some dusteroid is about crash on your cornea, eyelids are your last line of defense – not barbed hairs.

Bed sores to the next level

Bed sores to the next level (x-treme!)

2) Why do socks come packaged in a Ziplock bag like they’re deli lunch meat?  Do they go stale?  Is that why feet can get stinky?  Is there an expiration date I’m unaware of?  (All to be resolved in 2009.)

Feet meet Meat?

Feet meet Meat?

3) How do you go about getting a job as a Going Out Of Business Sign Holder, or as one of those people that look through View-Masters at people holding sticks across the street?  Are they employed by the store that’s closing?  Are they new hires?  Do they go through an agency like Bret did on “Flight of the Conchords?”  And as for surveyors – what the heck are they doing out there?

She's thinking she needs a new loveseat...

She's thinking she could use a new loveseat...

4) Would sour cream sell better if it was called dairy sauce?  I’m adverse to buying a cream that’s sour (it’s beside the point that I don’t like it anyway).  Would people be adverse to buying a sauce with a dairy source?

Still... no thanks...

Still... no thanks...

5) Why are they even still making regular billboards?  Electronic ones kick ass!

I'm like a moth drawn to light... or a fat kid to candy.

I'm like a moth drawn to light... or a fat kid to candy.

6) Why, oh God why, am I better at singing Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know than Soundgarden’s Spoonman on Rock Star 2?  100% vs. 86%?  I’m blaming all of Chris Cornell’s random Mmm‘s and Oh‘s.  Come to think of it… why was I even singing Alanis Morissette?