The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… The Cutting Edge

a.k.a. "Clash of the Olympians"

In honor of the upcoming Winter Olympics, I thought it was my place to present a film I consider to be The Shit and all the Just Shitty things that followed.

Not enough people know about this film, in my opinion.  The Cutting Edge would be, what I consider, the perfect gateway romantic comedy.  It’s like marijuana in the form of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

What I always liked about it was that Kate (Moira Kelly) was ‘the bad boy’ and Doug (D.B. Sweeney) had to win her over.  Yet Doug was still enough of ‘a bad boy’… oh, I’m not going to go into this any further.  Just know that it’s fun and funny and will provide you with the secret passphrase amongst us “Cutting Edgers” (not to be confused with “cutters”).  HINT: It has to deal with a part of an ice skate blade.

Now, I was going to go on to explain how the TV movie/direct-to-DVD sequels were Just Shitty, but in all fairness, I haven’t seen them.  I still assume they’re Just Shitty, of course, considering their plot synopses:

The Cutting Edge 2: Going for the Gold

  • Kate and Doug’s daughter, Jackie Dorsey, wants a Gold Medal of her own.
  • She gets hurt.
  • She get teamed with a non-figure skater named Alex (he’s a surfer/in-line skater).
  • They don’t get along.
  • They secretly fall in love.
  • They have a falling out.
  • They admit their mutual love.
  • They win!

The Cutting Edge 3: Chasing the Dream

  • Zach (who?) and Celeste (?!?) want a Gold Medal of their own.
  • Celeste gets hurt.
  • Zach gets teamed with a non-figure skater named Alex (seriously – her full name is Alejandra, and she’s a hockey player… CALLBACK!)
  • They don’t get along (and get trained by Jackie Dorsey… CONTINUITY!)
  • They secretly fall in love.
  • They have a falling out.
  • They admit their mutual love.
  • They win!
  • (What happened to Celeste?  Do I smell The Cutting Edge 4: On a Slippery Slope?)

Creative, huh?

Well, I figure that’s Just Shitty enough.  I going to go on and analyze D.B. Sweeney and Moira Kelly’s lackluster careers beyond this film, but both have gotten a pretty fair shake.

I liked her better when she was younger. Whodathunk?

To be honest, I was surprised at Moira’s success in recent years (she had a decent stint on The West Wing and is still (?) on One Tree Hill which is still (?) on (?)).

As for D.B., he’s kept busy, but as far as having a fruitful roll, does Brother Bear count?  How about Spike Lee’s Miracle at St. Anna?  He’s guest starred in a lot of TV shows, though.

I bet it has to deal with his initials…

Just go by Daniel Bernard, man...

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Drunken Recollection… There Just Aren’t Enough Figure Skating Movies

Yesterday was a bittersweet sports night in Detroit.  On one hand, the Tigers won their seventh straight game (barely… thanks, Zumaya).  On the other, the Red Wings lost in overtime to the Chicago Blackhawks. 

Somehow, through the course of starting the night at Comerica Park and stopping at the bar to watch the second half of the playoff game, the conversation veered to figure skating movies.  Well, it started with the mere mention of figure skating; I steered it toward chatting about film.

The topic: What’s the best movie about figure skating?

The answer: The Cutting Edge (natch).

When I finish this post, I just might watch it again. That is, if I owned the DVD. Who am I kidding? I own it...
When I finish this post, I just might watch it again. That is, if I owned the DVD. Who am I kidding? I own it…

I mean, it could be argued that since Ice Castles was the first, it’s the best by some (I’ve never seen it, but after watching this video featuring its theme song, I feel like I have to).

Some tidbit facts about Ice Castles:

  • There’s a remake coming out next year to coincide with the 2010 Winter Olympics.
  • Star Lynn-Holly Johnson went on to be a Bond Girl to Roger Moore in For Your Eyes Only.
  • Co-star Robby Benson almost won the role of Luke Skywalker in some movie I don’t recall, but he did voice The Beast in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.  He also directed episodes of Friends, apropos of nothing.
  • It’s also a song by Ween.

Arguments for The Cutting Edge:

  • It was awesome.
  • It was funny.
  • It was heartwarming.
  • It spawned a trilogy.
There really need to be five movies to tell the full story.

There really need to be five movies to tell the full story.

According to Wikipedia, there have been only 7 films about figure skating, while

  • skiing gets 9
  • surfing gets 11
  • wrestling and ice hockey get 14
  • (and oh yeah – cheerleading, skateboarding, and rodeo also get 7)

Forget the major leagues and any kind of racing, and you realize Hollywood hasn’t explored other sports all that much.  Especially when you consider that the 14 ice hockey movies include the Mighty Ducks trilogy, a second Slap Shot film, MVP: Most Valuable Primate, and The Guru – heaven help all ice-skating related works.