TripleDoubleU

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Know Your Office Assistants

Posted on by sgottahurt

Oh, it's not about office assistants in general...

I hardly mention it because even I barely care, but I work in information technology, which really means, computers.  I’ve recently celebrated working here ten years. I’ve worked here for ten years.  Ten years.

…ten years…

So I thought, how can I share the joy that is my job with you, and this is it!

Microsoft’s Office Assistants are considered to be one of the worst things they’ve ever produced, and that’s a grand list!  See how many of these “characters” you can guess…

…ten… years…

1)

    a) Clippit
    b) Clipster
    c) Asshole
    d) Mr. Clip

2)

    a) The Dot
    b) Period
    c) Asshole
    d) Mr. Bounce

3)

    a) Merlin
    b) Wizzie
    c) Asshole
    d) Mr. Magic

4)

    a) Mother Earth
    b) Mama Gaia
    c) Asshole
    d) Mr. Planet

5)

    a) Links
    b) Cat-Apostrophe
    c) Asshole
    d) Mr. Pussyfoot

6)

    a) Rocky
    b) Barker
    c) Asshole
    d) Mr. Ruff

(Answers after the jump) Read More

InASense, Lost… The Limitlessness Of Laziness

Posted on by sgottahurt

On one hand, this might not be a bad idea.

On no hands, it’s like a Bluetooth (I guess).

It's a hamburger-monica!

The infamous they always say, “Find a need and fill it.”  But unless this little handy handless food device isn’t pre-sold like this, the amount of time it saves can’t be much.  Besides, can you imagine trying to type while a cheeseburger is staring you right in the face?  I know I’m finishing it before I get any work done.

For instance, if I had this contraption, I wouldn’t have even found it on this site to write this post.  It’d be finished before I sat down to type.  It’d be finished on the car ride home (heaven knows I’m not making it).  It might not make it out of the drive-thru.  So if I had to ready the hands-free sandwich holder, I would have eaten the sandwich way before it made it the wire frame.

I hope for the inventor’s sake, it’s not real.

That is, unless fatteries are included.

All I Want For Christmas Is… This!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I feel fuzzy that this one is a no-brainer.  It’s available from ThinkGeek and…

"Tauntauns roasting on an open fire..."

Awww… gawdammit!  It’s the stupid Wampa Rug that’s for sale…

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Computers In Movies Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

How this made it to market I'll never know...

I don’t want to call this one a “phone-in”… perhaps it could be called a “dial-up”…

I found this site Access Main Computer File that collected screen caps from many flicks that contained computer displays, so I stole five, gave them credit for it, and made a So, Duh! Pop Quiz.

See if you can guess which cinematic masterpiece these masterpc‘s came from.

If you need an example, here’s one:

This is from Witches of Eastwick, right?

Anyweblog, let’s begin.

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

(Answers after the jump) Read More

Hibbidy-Wah?! No Effing Norway!

Posted on by sgottahurt

(UPDATE: VIDEO FIXED!)

I rubbed my eyes with lemon juice.  I squinted with toothpicks under my lids.  I snorted some Habanero sauce.  Salt was sprinkled onto my optical orbs, and nothing of what I had witnessed made any sense.

At first glance, you might mistake this video for an Insane Clown Posse one, based solely upon its production value, and you’d be right, except for the “clown” and “posse” part.  Maybe “clown” is relevant.

This is a commercial for the Norwegian show called Golden Times.  The way I wrote that sentence makes it sound like you should recognize it, so since you wouldn’t, I share it’s given name: Gylne Tider.  Apropos of nothing, that’s an anagram for

DETER LYING

of which I am with these truths.  So sit back, and

GENTLY RIDE

this strange ride on the TripleDoubleU that’s

LEGIT NERDY.

Without any further introduction, enjoy a slew (there has never been a better time to use this word) of random celebrities from the 80’s (and some 90’s) singing The Beatles’ Let It Be.  By my guesstimation, I would venture to, um, guess that this was what probably what killed Leslie Nielson, you Norwegian bastards!

(SIDENOTE: As you watch, you’ll find yourself thinking the cast can’t get any weirder, and it always does.  Also take note of what role each Actor! is recognized for.  It adds even more fun.)

Vodpod videos no longer available.

InASense, Lost… (Racist) Kids These Days

Posted on by sgottahurt

If you’ve ever seen the film version of the beloved comic strip Marmaduke, I’m sorry then you’re well aware of all the obvious anti-white sentiment sprinkled throughout.

Oh, you didn’t notice it?  Then I’ll let Andrew of The Andrew Show enlighten you, emphasis on lighten, with a dash of a speech impediment:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

(In case the video doesn't work, click the Videogum link below)

(video via Videogum)

To clean your palette, howzabout some Baby Inception:

A Handful Of… Videos You Must See If You Haven’t, Plus One Comic

Posted on by sgottahurt

Today’s specials include:

  • A CROONING MUSTACHED BABY
  • MORE KAZAAM REFERENCES THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A STICK AT
  • ANIMALS EVOLVING

(Here’s the original if that one gets taken down.)

  • And finally, THE TRUTH, according to Pizza Stew:

JusWondering… Can Taylor Swift Pull Off Santa Baby?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Taylor Swift could be called America’s sweetheart (as opposed to America’s sweatheart, Tom Arnold).  So why in the world would she try to perform a sexy, seductive song about a spoiled gold digger?  Take a listen to her version of Santa Baby:

What does the expert on gold diggers have to say about that?

Eartha Kitt played Catwoman, for Christ’s Santa’s sake!

Some other notable, not-so-wholesome women artists that have covered this song:

  • Madonna
  • Shakira
  • Macy Gray
  • Natalie Merchant
  • Faith Evans
  • Kylie Minogue
  • The Pussycat Dolls
  • Kellie Pickler
  • LeAnn Rhimes
  • Mae West
  • Miss Piggy
  • RuPaul
  • Everclear

My favorite, of course, is this version.

I Am Thankful For… The Ultimate Alternative To Turkey

Posted on by sgottahurt

Thanksgiving is upon us, and so it is time to begin to list the things I Am Thankful For… and I shall start with this:

Surprisingly Affordable

So I bet you’re all wondering:

Is it real?

And if you’re asking that, you might have wanted to lead up to that question with this one:

Are unicorns real?

But the long and the short of it is… it is real.

Drunken Recollection… “Where’s Rock Bottom?”

Posted on by sgottahurt

To preface, this is the New Place Lounge in Dearborn, Michigan, pictured from the outside:

Uncensored

And this is the New Place Lounge pictured from the inside:

Uncensored

Now imagine a night that I had been drinking, um, for a good six hours, and someone told me she was going to be at the above new place lounge:

Scent-sored

Now imagine my shock at this news, and me running outside to promptly call them.  Here’s how the conversation sort of went:

LADY – New Place Lounge.

ME – Is Debbie Gibson going to play there?!

LADY – You don’t have to yell.  I can hear you perfectly fine.

ME – I’m sorry.  It sounded loud on your end so I tried to compensate!  Is it true Debbie Gibson is going to be playing at your bar?!

LADY – You’re still yelling.  (unintelligible)  She’ll be playing at Rock Bottom.

ME – Rock Bottom?  Where’s Rock Bottom?!

LADY – (hangs up)

I immediately turned to the TripleDoubleU on my phone to find out where a Rock Bottom was locally because I knew there was one in Chicago, but my efforts were fruitless.  I gave up and decided to research the next day.

A couple of hours of sleep and a McDonald’s breakfast later, I translated what I’d actually heard:

LADY – For her to play here, she’d have to hit rock bottom.

TAH-DAH!

(SIDENOTE: I should have also prefaced that in my preadolescence, I was in love with Debbie Gibson.  Don’t click this – it’s the gayest straight thing I ever wrote.)