Toys

Drunken Recollection… Of The Cable Kind (Update)

Posted on by sgottahurt

(EMBARRASSING UPDATE: I was up for 24 hours.  I may have a problem…)
How I feel right now... just waiting for tomorrow's hangover.

How I feel right now... just waiting for tomorrow's hangover.

My daze is waning.  My day is fading.  I finally have high-speed access to the TripleDoubleU at home once again, and in addition to that, I’ve added cable to the package.

Mmmm, cable… it was one of the few things that got me out of the house besides trivia and drinking and sports and drinking.  My friends and family had it, and I’d often visit them to partake in its offerings.  I’ll miss them.

So far, I’ve caught up on back episodes of Survivor.  I’ve managed to get through The Onion Movie as well as Whacked Out Videos(gah!) on G4.  The latest: I’m finishing up the Top 100 One-Hit Wonders of the 80’s on VH1 Classic, even though I know the results of the list.  The reason being we discussed this the other day at the bar.

Other topics during recent bar trips:

  • …
  • …
  • …

Okay, well oddly, I don’t remember, because I didn’t really make a point to.  See, for the month of May, I’ve decided to give up my Mt. Dew, my booze, and my fast food.  Nine days in, I’m holding up quite well, although I’m not really seeing a difference (although I’m feeling it… every morning I feel like dancing great).  I am still being social and going out to the bars.  How else will I harass others into going out in the future if I cop out now?

So now I’ve decided upon watching the Spectacular Spider-Man on Disney XD (oh, yeah, that reminds me – I watched a bit of Chicken Little earlier today).  And I’m not sure what I’ll watch later. 

Oh!  They just showed a commercial for these, and I must admit, I’m tempted:

…stinking kids channels.  Me wanty bottle people and cereal box guitars.

Happy (Geeky) Find… Turk As Lando? Yes, Please!

Posted on by sgottahurt

On last night’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (btw… can’t wait for Conan’s return June 1st!), Scrubs’ Donald Faison stopped by to promote his new film, Next Day Air, but who cares about that!  He has an even better idea for a new movie…

Via Star Wars Blog:

It’d be The Chronicles of Lando Calrissian starring Donald Faison. I’d be Lando. And it would be before he lost the Millennium Falcon to Han Soloin that Sabacc game. And we would be cruising across the galaxy in the Falcon gettin’ chicks, drinking ale. And the hair would be phenomenal! I’d have to wear a wig or what we could do is just shave my head for back in the day when Lando used to shave his head. He’d have a whole new crew. It would be before Episode IV. So Episode 3.5 or 3.6.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Happy Geek Find…“, posted with vodpod

 

BONUS STAR WARS NERDINESS: I thought of this idea a day or so ago for some reason… thank Jedis somebody else already made it, because I’m far too lazy.  I only wish it was made to Alien Ant Farm’s version of Smooth Criminal rather than Michael Jackson’s, as the original runs a little long, but hey… M’Beg’gers can’t be Chewies.

Happy Find… Robot Penguins, Living Walls, And Cracked-Out Construx Thingees

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s another dial-up day, so pardon the brevity of the post.  But do know this – Robot Penguins will always be a Happy Find, no matter my connection speed.

Also Happy Find worthy:

  • Flying Robot Penguins
  • Light Bulb Changing Claws (okay, well maybe not these)
  • Living Walls
  • Interactive Cube Thingees That Look Like Cracked-Out Construx Toys

For those uninitiated in all-things-Construx:

Legos were for nerds... Construx was for bigger nerds.

Legos were for nerds... Construx was for bigger nerds.

 (pic via ThisOldToybecause RetroJunk is a dick)

(My Boss) Paul’s Top Five List… 80’s Toy Commercial Songs

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s about that time for another list from my boss, and long time on-again, off-again friend, Paul.  How do I know it’s time?  Because he told me so.

Top 5 80’s Toy Commercial Songs (Non-TV Show)

5) Madballs – Freaky fun for everyone.  I had one or two of these. [I had the mummy one.  I also collected the comics. Why they had a comic is beyond me.  Why I collected them is even farther out. – Ed.]

4) Toys R Us– Just like the song said… I didn’t want to grow up, either.  Some people, like this blog’s owner, never have.  [Damn skippy. – Ed.]

3) Skip It – A shoddy toy, but a cool song. [The counter on the ball is analog.  Totally worth watching the vid simply for that. – Ed.]

2) Lego – Like Zack, we were all Lego Maniacs back in the 80’s.  [Since I’ve never grown up, I’m still a Lego Maniac.  – Ed.]

1) My Buddy – My brother, Bert, had one.  Not sure what happened to it.  Not a big fan of the toy, but the song is so catchy that I find myself singing it to my two year old son, Logan.  I call him “my buddy.”  Pause for the awwwws.  [My eyes are still rolling which makes it tough to type. – Ed.]

Okay, for the real one, click here.

Coast-To-Coast Snug Job A No-Go

Posted on by sgottahurt

How’s that for a headline?  Can’t you just hear the newsies singing screaming that one?  As it turns out, two weekends ago I went to NYC for a Snuggie Pub Crawl (and also met a friend).  This weekend, I went to Seattle to visit a friend… and almost went on a Snuggie Pub Crawl! 

snugpubnogo1

"Pub Crawl or Bust!" - soon to be printed on the front of my Snuggie

Alas, my travelling compadres on this latest sojourn weren’t too keen on picking up some “Slankets” (as they were referred to on last week’s 30 Rock), and we opted for traditional bar hopping, which was just as well.  Albeit Seattle was a tad cooler than New York the week prior (making “blankets with sleeves” more comfy), which is ironic, because NYC is simply ‘cooler.’  No offense, Seattle, but no other city can compete.

SIDENOTE: Whenever I use the word ironic, I’m always afraid I’ll pull an Alanis.  Am I alone in regard to this ‘worry?’

BONUS SIDENOTE: I’d say the biggest difference between the East and West Coasts (or at least New York and Seattle) is what follows the prefix hip-… Do you prefer –sters or –pies?

Anywashington, the trip was a great time.  To conserve my energy, which is a euphemism for I’m feeling lazy today, here are some pics I took with explanatory captions.

25 Years Of WrestleMania AKA “WWE” = “What Wrestling Emitted” (Wait, That Sounds Bad)

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’d never proclaim to be a huge fan of wrestling.  Even back before the World Wildlife Fund made them change their name, I wasn’t too into any of the WrestleManias or the Sunday matches.  A few of my friends were, though, so the WWE superstars of the day blipped my pop culture radar.  And a little cartoon BITD (“back in the day”) also helped:

But since this Sunday (tomorrow) is WrestleMania XXV, I’m going to post the best things I ever think came out of the WWF WWE… BITD, of course. 

5) “Macho Man” Randy Savage sure did love him some Slim Jims.  Why it’s relevant to me?  On a trip to Houston, Texas, there was one day I devoted to eating only Slim Jims and pickles, and drinking MGD.  The next day I devoted to the hotel bathroom.

4) Andre the Giant was in The Princess Bride.  Why it’s relevant to me?  I always thought he seemed like a nice guy, and the movie helped confirm that (if I remember correctly).  Man, I haven’t seen that movie in a long time.  All I truly remember is the scene where Wesley and the “Inconceivable!” guy keep switching poisoned glasses.  And Inigo Montoya, of course.

3) Sargent Slaughter was a G.I. Joe toy and on the cartoon!  Why it’s relevant to me?  He was on the cartoon!  (I wasn’t allowed to collect G.I. Joe because they were too much like Star Wars, according to my mom.)

2) Rowdy Roddy Piper was in John Carpenter’s They Live.  Why it’s relevant to me?  Just watch this clip and tell me it’s not relevant to you.

1) Hulk Hogan was a Real American.  Why it’s relevant to me?  Um, Hulk Hogan plays on an electric guitar painted like the American flag standing in front of an American flag like he’s motherfucking General Patton just before a scene of a building being demolished.  That’s just the first 30 seconds!  And it only gets better, I promise you…

InASense, Lost… When Food And Robots (Plus Dinosaurs And Village People) Combine

Posted on by sgottahurt

I have suddenly and not-so-inexplicably become obsessed with something from my youth.  No, it’s not the Sesame Street Playset that I accidentally won on eBay (and will be giving to my brother for his upcoming birthday – glad he doesn’t read this blog, even though I always ask him to!)

It’s even better than that:

I completely forgot about them!  And in doing research to try to find out more about the robots-in-disfries, I stumbled upon these guys and was further surprised:

Don't remember these... is this when the fam discovered Taco Bell?

Don't remember these... is this when the fam discovered Taco Bell?

McDino Changeables?  Isn’t that going a little bit too far?

But how could I ever forget this crew:

They're like the Village People of fast food.

They're like the Village People of fast food.

I don’t know what’s been going on lately other than I haven’t been drinking as much (which I wrecktified last night), so I have a hard time falling asleep (which is probably a bad thing on a whole bunch of different levels).

Whatever this nostalgia malady is all about, I hope it ends soon.

…I just bid on some McDino Changeables…

(My Boss) Paul’s Top Five List… A Listing Of Lists

Posted on by sgottahurt

While Paul’s out of the office and off dreaming up new lists on vacation, I thought I would play catch up.  We’ve been too busy at work (and I’m not posting my boss’ lists while I’m playing at home), so since I have a slight chance to breathe today, here we go:

Top 5 Professional Sports Moments  [Ed. – Local anyway, and without further explanation]

1.) 1997 Red Wings Stanley Cup Champs

2.) 1997 Michigan Football NCAA Champs

3.) 1989 Michigan Basketball NCAA Champs

4.) 1984 Detroit Tigers World Series Champs

5.) 2008 Detroit Lions fire Matt Millen

[Ed. – Oh yeah.  Guess where Paul went to college…]

Top Five 80’s Cartoon Theme Songs [Ed. – With explanations and video!]

1.) G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero – “He’ll fight for freedom wherever there’s trouble…” (This should replace the Star Spangled Banner.)

2.) Transformers – “More than meets the eye…”  (Song seemed to be ahead of it’s time.)

3.) The Wuzzles – “Two types of fun, wrapped up and rolled… into one!” (What could be better?)

4.) M.A.S.K. – “Masked crusaders, working overtime, fighting crime.” (Song passes the time test.) [Ed. – I had to twist his arm to get this included – it’s my favorite.]

5.) Silverhawks – “Partly metal, partly real.” (Very underated show.  Plus, it has a sweet guitar solo.)

 
Top Five Stores That No Longer Exist (Now in Reverse Order) [Ed. – My favorite list so far.]

5.) The Old Ballpark – Every baseball card collector’s favorite store located in Livonia. If you wanted mint rookie cards of Alan Trammell or Lou Whitaker, this place had ’em.

4.) Great Scott, A&P, Farmer Jack (all lumped in together) – I do have the fondest memories of Great Scott, as it was our old school place to buy groceries.  [Ed. – “Old school,” as in O.G. boyee!]

3.) Highland Appliance – “50 watts per channel babycake!” Oh, the memories of buying our first 27″ color tv and our first camcorder, which was VHS-C.

2.) Babbage’s (honorable mention goes to Egghead Software) – I remember browsing the shelves of hundreds of games for my 286 PC at Fairlane Mall.

1.) Children’s Palace – Heaven on Earth to all of us kids who grew up in the 80’s. Enough said. [Ed. – Also, my first job.]

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Rise Of Cobra (Get Your Mind Out Of The Gutter)

Posted on by sgottahurt

In one of my dreams last night, I watched/participated in the new G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra movie.

It began rather inoccuously, meaning it didn’t seem at all like G.I. Joe.  There was a compound and the team was being built.  It was comprised of a bunch of your movie stereotypes (which I won’t go into because it doesn’t bode well for my subconscious).  I remember a moment where a group of us were in a steel-decor room and cardboard boxes full of ammo rested on the center table.  The captain or general or secretary (I don’t recall) said “Go!” and everyone lunged for the weapons like they were candy, stuffing grenades, guns, and dynamite in their pockets.

I wore a jacket comparable to this one (based on my real-life coat, also from American Eagle):

Mine had big inside pouches... maybe it's made from opossums (you thought I was going to say kangaroo... No? You didn't? My bad...)

Mine had big inside pouches... maybe it's made from opossums (you thought I was going to say kangaroo... No? You didn't? My bad...)

I also think that the compound was somehow connected to a resort, like in the old episodes of Get Smart.  The reason I bring this up is because at one point, after a member of my team falls through a concealed trap door, in searching for him, we fall through a similar hinged entrance.

We end up trapped with our fallen friend in a room on the resort side.  The windows are shatter-proof and there are no doors.  We can’t escape.  Then through the windows, we see a couple that I apparently met earlier.  They open the window from a latch outside, but they won’t let us out unless we can name who’s singing the song coming from their bedroom TV next door.

Right away, I know who it is: Shania Twain, and she’s doing a duet with Eurotrash superstar (?) Juraveggio Mugaiojdvkiaw… (I don’t know exactly – it was some weird dream name).

I just don't have enough dreams about her.

I just don't have enough dreams about her.

The couple let us out, and I ran to the TV because it was one of my favorite videos.  This guy was singing the duet with Shania:

Actor: Peter Stormare!
Actor: Peter Stormare!

Anyyojoe… my team ends up getting shipped out to do battle with Cobra, and it’s at this point that I realize I watching/participating in the G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra movie and I’m pissed!  It took this long to get to any battles?! 

There was a car chase that lead to a field with way too many chain link fences.  Bullets!  Bombs!  Explosions!

I was about to get captured/killed when I realized I had one of those hypersuits (whatever the fuck they’re wearing in this preview), and I started leaping and hopping about, between crater blasts and flimsy fences.  Something trips me and I land at the feet of a guy dressed like this:

Like the costume on the left, but more in the direction of the one on the right... also, is she smiling at her own reflection?

Like the costume on the left, but more in the direction of the one on the right... also, is she smiling at her own reflection?

As I struggle to get to my feet, he removes his mask, and lo!  Who is it?

Juraveggio Mugaiojdvkiaw…

I walked out of the movie/woke up because I thought it was stupid.

INGREDIENTS: Working 13 hours (and until 1am), 2 Cheesy Double Beef Burritos, 1 24oz. bottle of none other than Mt. Dew