In My Brain While Sleeping… You’re Looking At The Creator Of “Ilusión Óptica Mexicana Brillante”
I’ve been on a bit of a drought in regard to dreams lately. I’ve had a few false starts, such as:
- A dream about a movie starring The Two Coreys (Haim and Feldman, back in the day in their prime) and they were trying to get their parents to marry each other à la the Parent Trap.
- A dream where I went on a Muppet hunting safari but didn’t know it.
- A dream where I realized how funny it is to put “The” in front of various subjects, like The Fonz, The Hamburger, The State, and The Sex.
But last night, I had a vision about a vision like no other… I had inadvertently developed a new art form dubbed:
Ilusión Óptica Mexicana Brillante
Okay, I’ll admit that I don’t know Spanish, and I don’t exactly remember the hack job that went on in my subconscious (although it was kinda close to the above Babel Fish translation), but for you gringos it means:
Shiny Mexican Optical Illusion
Turned out I wasn’t the one that originated the name. There once was a Mexican artist/philosopher that initially proposed the possibility of what I accomplished. His theory:
Two images can be created on top of each other. One will be visible in reflective light, and one will be visible in non-reflective light. – a Mexican artist/philosopher
So in some alcoholic stupor reeking of brilliance, I drew a picture that looked like this in “reflective light” (whatever that means):
And in “non-reflective light” (again, whatever that means), the artwork looked like this:
I drew it as a doodle. A throw away scribble on crinkled scrap paper. But someone – the right someone – saw it, and heralded me as a mathematical genius for pulling off the Ilusión Óptica Mexicana Brillante manually.
In fact, it was a forgotten art theory, and I was thrust into the limelight, not unlike Andy Warhol. My fifteen minutes were beginning after my scribble was purchased for $500,000 by an unknown collector. Duplicates of my work were sold in bulk at mall stores built just for my Shiny Mexican Optical Illusion. The hype was similar to the interest over those pictures you stared at to see sunken treasure ships and sharks.
But I couldn’t live up to the expectations and failed to duplicate my success. 14:58, 14:59, 15:00 minutes hit, and I woke up.
Here’s the thing… I feel I could duplicate the Ilusión Óptica Mexicana Brillante in real life. I only need to figure out to create “non-reflective light.”
INGREDIENTS: Two cold pieces of pizza and a couple pitchers of Blue Moon.
Once I reached dry land found, I found a tiny zebra and a tiny cougar (both were pocket-sized).
I carried them around we me (in my pockets, natch) until I witnessed a tsunami coming ashore from opposite directions.
Then it suddenly turned into “real life” and I was at one of my company’s clients that sells medical equipment. I gave my tiny zebra and my tiny cougar to their employees, so they could be cared for.
I ended up finding out that the medical supplier had started manufacturing meat products out of zebras and cougars in general, so I 
I thought they were marketing the meat as ‘hamburger,’ but in fact, they were selling it as ‘wild game’ to a restaurant near my office.
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