InASense, Lost… A Better Episode I That Will Never Be (WATCH THIS!)
There has been a lot of bro-haha over Topher Grace’s edit of the Star Wars prequels, which we, as a public, will never see.
That makes me sad.
This video makes me suicidal:
Humor
Unofficial Trilogy… Adapted Screenplay Edition (Now In Theaters)
Mars needs women... and food.
This Unofficial Trilogy is a special one. It contains three theatrical treats, as opposed to DVD releases. (It might be a bit misleading to say treats, but I liked the alliteration of it all.)
What makes these three pieces of work work as a threesome is that they are all adapted, um, works. John Carter is based on Edgar Rice Burroughs’ A Princess of Mars, 21 Jump Street is based on Stephen J. Cannell’s TV show, and kids TV show scripter Suzanne Collins wrote the book about kids killing each other for food.
So how do they stack up?
JOHN CARTER
Definitely the weakest of the bunch, and it’s a shame. I had high hopes for this one despite its uninteresting previews, and I don’t even think the high hopes were what let me down. Uneven pacing, too many plot points, no sense of wonder – these components were what let me down. And it’s a shame, too. This is director Andrew Stanton’s first foray into the real world. He might be better off back behind an array of computers. Compared to his Finding Nemo and Wall-E, John Carter doesn’t hold a CG-candle to them.
21 JUMP STREET
Often times, when cop comedies get stuck in their actual crime story, they lose some of their laughs (Hot Fuzz, The Other Guys, Police Academy series). That is not the case with 21 Jump Street. Adapted from a serious, and sometimes preachy, show, this flick is more about two buddies overcoming the differences in their past than anything else. Who would have ever thought I’d enjoy a Channing Tatum film?
THE HUNGER GAMES
I don’t want to hype this movie up any more than it already is, but believe the hype. This film is a winner. I had no expectations or drive to see this film (since I’m not a teenager I didn’t read the books), and I think I was about an hour into it when I turned to someone with me and whispered:
I love this fucking film.
It might be too early to share this, but I’m looking more forward to Catching Fire (book two in The Hunger Games trilogy) than I am The Avengers. And that’s saying a lot.
JusWondering… What Other President Should Get Rebooted?
This post is a sort of double-whammy JusWondering. The first part is a legitimate whimsical question; the follow-up is philosophical. Hopefully both are fun.
The first real question that smolders in my, um, title line is
What other president should get rebooted?
Hollywood loves its reboots, re-imaginings, and remakes, and these upcoming films are proof.
You’ve probably heard about this first one by now – Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Here’s the preview:
But did you also know that FDR: American Badass! exists (or at least will very soon)?
If Hollywood followed these templates, I’d say George Washington or JFK are ripe for action-packed movies:
I’d venture to guess in another twenty years, Ronald Reagan will get rebooted, too.
Now onto my second JusWondering… does anyone else feel slightly offended by Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and FDR: American Badass!? Because weirdly, I do. And what’s stranger, I was born and raised Roman Catholic and these doesn’t bother me one bit:
Happy Find… The Schwarzenegger Follies
It’s been a while since I’ve found a true Happy Find. By that I mean I found a website or blog user that’s new to me and makes me happy.
This makes me happy (which is long overdue you horrible, horrible movie):
For the remainder of The Schwarzenegger Follies, you can click here. You’ll find wondrous classics, such as Conan the Barbarian: The Musical and Predator: The Musical.
And because I’m so kind, here’s another called… Commando: The Musical.
Musical Musings… First Song Title With Leet Speak
I’ve never made it secret that I love my 80’s music satellite station. (I have tried to make it secret that I love the love song station… terribly though.)
So of course it’s natural that I would rediscover The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince That’s Now Known Only As Prince’s I Would Die 4 U while bouncing around the dial.
A refresher from 1984 (in the form of a strange college project in 2009):
Then the thought occurred to me, could this be the first song that used leet speak in its title?
The Jets had a hit in 1988 with Rocket 2 U…
…and in 1990, Sinead O’Connor struck gold with Nothing Compares 2 U (which was also written by Prince)
But there was nothing sooner. Or was there?
Now if I had actually done all this homework, I probably would have stopped at Prince’s I Would Die 4 U. I wouldn’t have even delved to the album that preceded Purple Rain and 1999 called Controversy. (Released in 1981, it had a song called Jack U Off.) So does that make it official that Prince started leet speak since he has three of the earliest appearances of it?
Not quite.
In 1977, there was a funk band known as Graham Central Station, and they put out an album (and song) called Now Do U Wanta Dance:
But even better than that – the first song on the album is called:
Happ-E-2-C-U-A-Ginn
Can we be sure PR1NC3 knew about Graham Central Station? According to Wikipedia:
In 2011, Graham Central Station opened for Prince on Prince’s “Welcome 2 America” tour.
Isn’t it ironic? Don’t U think?
(SIDENOTE: Thanks to my brother-in-law and fellow blogger, Judd, for the research. Check out his insightful site Pancake Dominion by clicking here (or over there —>)…)
A Handful Of… Songs About Santa Monica
When I lived in West Los Angeles many El Niño’s ago (or were they La Niña’s?), there were two songs that always sort of inspired me to move there: Sheryl Crow’s All I Wanna Do and Everclear’s Santa Monica. Even though I didn’t live in the exact city of Santa Monica, I lived as close as those two songs were actually about the city (more on that in a moment). It was their sound that encapsulated the vibe I was seeking, and they hit the gauge in the earlobe.
Anymalibu, it was a recent song I’ve heard that made me realize that there’s been A Handful Of Songs About Santa Monica, and here they are:
- Jay Malinowski’s Santa Monica
This is the song that launched this post, and if you listen to its words… you’ll have no idea what it’s about, either. He’s talking about someone being tied up and screaming and the British army gets a shout out. He sings of Santa Monica throughout, but it could be a person rather than a place. Malinowski’s Canadian and in a reggae band, so… that’s no help. But I like the song, anyway.
- Savage Garden’s Santa Monica
This one specifically talks about Third Street Promenade, which was one of my favorite places to visit, but it’s more about getting lost, or feeling lost, or losing yourself in a popular public place. I never heard this song before writing this post, but man, is it depressing…
- Theory of a Deadman’s Santa Monica
Do all these artists want me to slit my wrists with a long board, or what? This one’s about a break-up that begins with a bed full of gasoline. Whether it’s figurative or literal is beside the point.
- Everclear’s Santa Monica
Finally, an upbeat song! Wait, what? It’s really about attempted suicide?! Plus, it was also temporarily banned from airplay after the attacks on 9/11? Good vibes gracious.
- Sheryl Crow’s All I Wanna Do
Man, I forgot how big of a crush I had on Sheryl Crow back in the day. This song may not be about the city, but at least it’s a happy tune about urban ennui. In other words, a rallying cry for day drunks on Santa Monica Boulevard.
Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Really Unwanted Typecasting
All Most Actors! have precious egos. That’s why more often than not, they don’t like typecasting.
Now some Actors! benefit immensely from typecasting. If they’re weird-looking, they play weirdos; if they’re pretty, they play pretty people.
Don’t tell me Julia Roberts or Brad Pitt weren’t playing Julia Roberts or Brad Pitt in most of their movies. The only reason Julia Roberts won her Oscar for Erin Brockovich was because she played outside of her type. She stepped (slightly) beyond her bubble (by showing pushed-up cleavage), just like Halle Berry did (by getting completely naked) in Monster’s Ball and Charlize Theron did (by looking ugly and getting naked) in Monster (those examples are Coinkydinks).
(SIDENOTE: I’m not sure what Sandra Bullock did except get cheated on…)
Anyboobs, Susan Sarandon has had a recurring character this season on 30 Rock. She’s been playing Lynn Onkman, the former teacher and lover of Frank… or in a word – a pedophile:
His hat should have read, "HOT FOR EACHER"... it's funny because the "T" fell off.
Where the Coinkydink or Coinkydonk comes into play is in Adam Sandler’s new movie, That’s My Boy, her daughter Eva Amurri plays – wait for it – a pedophile. Or should I say teacher and lover?
BONUS FIND! Though not in the preview, according to IMDb, Susan Sarandon is listed as third in the billing (she portrays her daughter’s character all grown up, ‘natch).
So is it all on accident (Coinkydink)?
Or is it a serious case of typecasting (Coinkydonk)?
Either way, Eva Amurri needs to be in more.
monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK… The Man Of Action For President!
I didn’t have a blog back in 2005, and YouTube was just getting started, so pretend this post took place in that very same year, about a very special brand of hero…
I’m beginning to have my faith restored in humanity, and there’s a very simple reason why:
Buddy Lee will be a write-in for U.S. President in 2008!
In case you’re unaware of his credentials, I found a new website called Yourtoob that shows videos with plenty of proof why he would make a good president. I’m sure that he could beat Dick Cheney or Hillary Clinton any day!
He stops at nothing to save the day, even if it’s just a cat:
He was a volunteer firefighter:
He was a valued police officer:
He inspired a haircut craze that was bigger than Jennifer Aniston’s The Rachel:
He even knows how to have a good time:
Just Sh–ty To The Sh–? Is This Annoying Commercial Growing On Me?
Metro PCS is to all the other cell phone companies like a hot dog vendor is to chain restaurants. It’s cheap, and if you need it, it’s food a phone.
For their latest ad campaign, they feature a very annoying song (as opposed to racist caricatures*) that for some reason is seeping into the part of my brain that likes hot dogs from street vendors… wait, that doesn’t sound right.
*If you don’t remember…
Awful Battle… Preview Mix-N-Match
It’s good that there are finally movies coming out that I want to see. They’re not necessarily good, but I’ve been hitting up the silver screen more in the last month than all winter with no signs of slowing down.
That having been said, I’m getting caught up on non-blockbuster preview fare, and it’s fair at best.
Take the latest offerings I witnessed (please!), and tell me if you notice something:
First, they are all screenplay movies. By that I mean to evoke Little Miss Sunshine or Cedar Rapids. They are all movies that read well, I’m sure, but have limited commercial commercial appeal.
Second, they either feature the charming Emily Blunt, Jason Segel, or both!
(SIDENOTE: I saw these previews in this exact order before the tragically unfunny Wanderlust.)
Am I eager to see any of them? No. But will I eventually? Yes.
Emily Blunt and Jason Segel are just so charming!
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 