SIDENOTE: I should mention that I’m lazy.  So I looked up some of my favorites on the ol’ YouTube.  Enjoy.  Or don’t.  Fuck you.

• Liam Lynch’s United States of Whatever

• Sex Pistols’ Who Killed Bambi?

• Suicidal Tendencies’ Institutionalized

• Damien Carter’s Hangin’ Out With My Family

1. I’m sitting alone at a bar
2. on a rainy day
3. feeling introspective
4. not in a self-loathing type of way
5. but in a how did I get here and where do I go next type of way
6. and there’s a band playing one of these songs
7. regardless of the song’s content
8. and nobody’s really listening
9. except me

• Bob Seger’s Mainstreet

• The Jeff Healey Band’s Angel Eyes

• Billy Vera and the Beater’s At This Moment

• Dan Fogelberg’s Same Old Lang’s Syne

That’s enough of me being cheesy today.  You’re probably thinking:

Thank Gouda…

hears another… perha[s on3 someladies may enjoy a bit two...

Good thing presidents don’t have sequels!

1988 has come and gone.  So has a great year at the movies.

Not only did the best action film ever get released (by the way, it’s Die Hard), but there was a return to animation being mixed with live action in the incredible Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Time will only tell if they’ll make any more movies that mix real actors and cartoons (doubt it), and who could possibly make another action film about one guy taking on an entire group of baddies in such a believable manner (no one)?  But what I really want to write about are this year’s “big” comedies.

There’s a reason I put big in quotes - Big is one of the fantastic comedies that came out this year.  Beetlejuice and Naked Gun were good clean-ish fun, and I wasn’t supposed to see the unclean-ish Coming to America, but I did.

For me, the stand-out was Twins and you might be inclined to think these are the reasons why:

1. It was truly good clean fun (and funny).
2. Kelly Preston is beautiful.
3. Arnie and Danny have comedic chemistry.

In jest truth, it was the film’s on-the-nose soundtrack.  Aside from The Spinners’ Brother to Brother (playable down below), you had this gem by Little Richard and Phillip Bailey:

Hipster is a dirty word

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t get what being a hipster really is.  That having been said, I’m going to extrapolate their reactions to a current trend I see.

To begin, let’s imagine that Rivers Cuomo of Weezer is Patient Zero in this analysis.  When Weezer hit the mainstream lamestream (that’s lame) mainstream with Undone (The Sweater Song), people noticed because it had a distinctive voice and sound.  Their follow-up, Buddy Holly, was much more accessible and — normal.

So here are some newer artists with their first releases and their follow-ups, and we’ll gauge the responses from hipsters.

• AWOLNATION’s Sail

• AWOLNATION’s Not Your Fault

What do you think about that, hipster?

"Get out of my way!"

• Foster the People’s Pumped Up Kicks

• Foster the People’s Helena Beat

What do you think about that, hipster?

"Have you seen my friend? He's around here somewhere."

• Gotye’s Somebody That I Used to Know

• Gotye’s Eyes Wide Open

What do you think about that, hipster?

"..."

Until.

Now.

Un.

Til.

No… please don’t…

*This post is an example of one when I didn’t try.

In fact, I won’t even cover one of those on that list… which shortens my considerably (really, all I would have included were John Lennon/Paul McCartney tracks, and maybe a Foo Fighters tune).

So without further adieu, here are some Strange Songs About Other Singers.

• SONG: Alannah Myles’ Black Velvet
• ABOUT: Elvis Presley
• WHY IT’S STRANGE: Is she really singing about a painting?

• SONG: For Squirrel’s Mighty K.C.
• ABOUT: Kurt Cobain
• WHY IT’S STRANGE: It’s not a particularly good song, for one.  For two, this group faced a tragedy not long after this song was released – an automobile accident claimed the lives of two band members.

• SONG: The Commodores’ Nightshift
• ABOUT: Jackie Wilson & Marvin Gaye
• WHY IT’S STRANGE: It’s really not strange.  But it’s strange amidst this list.

• SONG: ABC’S When Smokey Sings
• ABOUT: Smokey Robinson
• WHY IT’S STRANGE: It’s a weird new wave song about an artist who was still on the charts!  (Smokey had a concurrent hit with One Heartbeat.)

• SONG: Ron Artest’s Michael Jackson Tribute
• ABOUT: Michael Jackson
• WHY IT’S STRANGE: He’s a basketball player! And he chose his jersey number based on the amount of weeks Thriller was number one!  (FYI, it’s 37… in a row!)

What’s interesting about this A Handful Of is that I don’t think they could have been made at any time other than that dreary decade.

(SIDENOTE: Okay, two of them are kind of chipper.)

• Sponge’s Molly (16 Candles Down the Drain) – 1995

• Tripping Daisy’s I Got a Girl – 1995

• Seven Mary Three’s Cumbersome – 1996

• Nada Surf’s Popular – 1996

• Butthole Surfer’s Pepper – 1996

• Cornershop’s Brimful of Asha – 1997

This makes me happy (which is long overdue you horrible, horrible movie):

For the remainder of The Schwarzenegger Follies, you can click here.  You’ll find wondrous classics, such as Conan the Barbarian: The Musical and Predator: The Musical.

And because I’m so kind, here’s another called… Commando: The Musical.