Which came first?  The diva or the diet?

It’s pretty weird that Mariah Carey, Jennifer Hudson, and Janet Jackson all happen to be in ads for Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and NutriSystem respectively.  I wonder which one inspired the remainder of the campaigns (Coinkydonk), or did they all happen to happen at the same time (Coinkydink)?

(SIDENOTE: It’s no Coinkydink that Mariah’s is the most annoying commercial of all time.)

BUT WAIT!  These musical divas aren’t the only ones chiming in.

You also have Charles Barkley (for Weight Watchers) and Terry Bradshaw (for NutriSystem):

The only riddle that remains:

When will this athlete do ads for Jenny Craig?

That's called a (calorie) burn, Tom Brady.

Her latest is a Channing Tatum film. A Channing Tatum film.

The Vow may be based on a true story, but it’s like a story we’ve heard before.  (But doesn’t this happen all the time in Hollywood?)

Take the end game of The Notebook:

She’s an elderly Alzheimer’s patient, and the whole movie is her husband telling their life story, which was also based on a true story (oops, I forget to put SPOILER ALERT!)

And mix it with this flick:

And you get The Vow:

Channing Tatum plays the husband to Rachel McAdams’ amnesic wife, and he doesn’t know how to act… just like in real-life.

See - it is a true story!

ITEM #1 – THE BREA GRANT CONNECTION

That smirk seems permanent.

Brea Grant may not be a well-known face (or even known at all), but the moment she appeared early in the sixth season of Showtime’s Dexter, I recognized her.  I didn’t know what from, so I investigated.  Turned out, she also starred in NBC’s Heroes during its third season.  I tried to forget that awful show, and thus, I forgot her.  Now here’s the Coinkydink (or Coinkydonk)…

She starred alongside Actor! Masi Oka on Heroes, and alongside character (Vince) Masuka on Dexter.

It’s a little weird, right?  No, not really?  Okay then, moving on.

ITEM #2 – STOP SHOUTING!

I’ve noticed that The General Insurance must be doing pretty good, because their graphics have been getting better and better.  As for the concepts…?

Does this woman’s “hiya’s” sound familiar to you?

Because to me, I’m reminded of Link’s sidekick, Navi, form The Legend of Zelda – A Link to the Past:

You don’t hear it?  All right, how about this last one.

ITEM #3 - ROBOTS AND ALCOHOL DON’T MIX

Here’s the party I was late to… I love robots, but I couldn’t stand it when Heineken had this atrocity of an ad for an atrocity of a product (the keg can):

So it amazes me that Svedka Vodka could one-up their craptacular idea:

If that’s the future of alcohol, color me sober.

The Muppets and Stars and Guest Stars and Cameo Stars and a Building and Horizontal Blinds

I saw the new Muppets movie around Over-Indulgence Day, and something about its cast struck me as interesting on a Coinkydink or Coinkydonk level.

It occurred to me that cameo star John Krasinski (better only? known as Jim Halpert from The Office) has connections to three of the ladies in the film.

Johnny Be Good

In The Office, John Krasinski’s character dated both Amy Adams and Rashida Jones’ characters, and in real life he’s married to Emily Blunt (she played Miss Piggy’s receptionist in Paris).

So is he in it because they’re all in it, or, no - it wouldn’t work the other way…

That’s crazy, right?  It’s at least as crazy as Stephanie Courtney being in the Cavemen TV show:

You see, she was in a show based on GEICO characters, then she'd later be a character in Progressive ads. Talk about job insurance!

BONUS COINKYDINK OR COINKYDONK!

Disney’s Muppets:

Fozzie, wait for it...

Disney’s Puppets:

...okay, go for it! "Wocka, wocka, wocka!"

(SIDENOTE: Isn’t it weird that Miss Piggy is wearing the same outfit?)

Why the non-Muppets are puppets:

1. Whoopi Goldberg is one of the hosts on The View which is on ABC… which is owned by Disney.
2. Rico Rodriguez, or Manny from Modern Family, and it’s on ABC (see above).
3. Selena Gomez was on Wizards of Wizardly Place, which was on The Disney Channel.

BONUS BONUS COINKYDINK OR COINKYDONK!

The last two movies I saw in the theater featured this guy, and he’s only been in like six twelve films:

The NPH

First, there was…

Wild Grinders and Super Mario

I know that Mario Mario (real name) doesn’t hold the patent on red and blue ensembles, but come on.  Dyrdek’s Nickelodeon cartoon based on his Wild Grinders toy line looks a lot like he who dons raccoon apparel to fly.

And then there was (or this might have been first)…

It's Ridiculousness how much Ridiculousness is like Tosh.0...

Let’s just remember, aside from skateboarding, Dyrdek got all his cash money from Rob & Big.

So is that a Coinkydink or Coinkydonk?

It’s already been ripped off in this past summer’s Transformers: Dark of the Moon and next summer’s The Avengers:

This has happened once before with the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre using the flash bulb sound from the original trailer, and then it popped up everywhere (I just can’t remember where, for the life of me):

Previews are so terrible today, a woman is suing the advertisers of Ryan Gosling’s Drive for being misleading.  I was under the impression it was a cool, 80′s throwback movie based upon its neon logo, until I saw this TV spot:

Unbeatable?  Unstoppable?  Unkillable?

I started thinking he could be some supernatural driver out of the 50′s!  (The lawsuit states the woman thought it was going to be like The Fast and the Furious… my version is better.)

And how about this preview for James McTeigue’s follow-up to V for Vendetta…The RaVen (the capital V is in the preview just to remind you):

Anyone else think the inspector is the murderer?

Here’s me in that shirt:

I look badass. I look like a watermelon samurai...

Prudential's Billboards' Sayings

Taco Bell's Crazier Style Billboard

Taco Bell's Tamer Billboard With Wrong Color Scheme

Every time I see the yellow-on-purple wisecrack statement, I think it’s an ad for my primary nutritional source.  But again, I don’t have any evidence.  You’ll have to trust me.

Instead, I’ll deal with the remake of Footloose… or at least their previews.

I’ve never seen either film, so my experience with each is limited.  But based on what is revealed in each preview, the remake is a REMAKE! to the fullest extent.  Aside from dead kids causing a dancing ban, and an amping-up of elements (choreography, exploding buses, faster suicide train runs, and a much prettier lead actress), the new Footloose looks exactly the same.

• New

• Old

If you want an example of how to make better remake, check this out:

The only thing worse I could write about would be how Up Close & Personal was originally based on the sad life of reporter Jessica Savitch, but then it suddenly wasn’t.  (Yes, I’m bringing up the crappy Michelle Pfeiffer/Robert Redford vehicle as an example.)

So instead I will do this:

• It’s weird that the last two movies I saw (30 Minutes or Less and Rise of the Planet of the Apes) had unexpected things in common…

1) Apes (played by people) in the poster.

That's a whole lotta frightening there.

Apes love raising their fist, apparently...

3) Our hero is probably a pothead in real life.

They have to be, right?

4) Our probable real life pothead hero has a hot Indian girlfriend.

Dilshad Vadasria and Freida Pinto, just so you can Google more pics of them...

But that’s why I don’t ever want to have kids, because if they’re ugly, I’ll probably get famous arrested for putting them up on eBay.

That having been said, check out this kid’s melon.  You’ll figure out which one I’m talking about real quick.

Milk is great for healthy bones and eyebrows, I mean, hair.

This reminds me of that old Seinfeld episode when Elaine and Jerry are trying to set George up on a blind date, and the topic of eyebrows is brought up:

Elaine: What, you don’t think she’s beautiful?

Jerry: I don’t know, what’s with the eyebrows?

Elaine: You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.

Jerry: I went out with you.

Elaine: That’s because my standards are too low. And by the way, you know,
women kill for eyebrows like that. Do you know that? I mean women pluck their
real eyebrows out of their head, one by one, until they’re bald, Jerry. Bald
above the eyes! And then they paint in these eyebrows to look like that.

Well anylourdes, while some people find Angie Harmon’s brows attractive, I agree with Jerry.  What’s with them?

Her poor daughter reminds me of Chippy from Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!

• Tim and Eric:

• Chippy

• Where’s My Chippy?