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Just Sh–ty To The Sh–… Songs About The Number One

June 19, 2012

ALTERNATE TITLE: Just #2-y To The #2

Where do I began to express my love of the number one?

  1. It’s always first.
  2. It’s the least of anything you can have.
  3. It’s the exact amount of people I care about in this world.
  4. I am always looking out for it.

With that having been said, here’s how I rank various musicians takes on the number that goes best with the letter A:

  • JUST SHITTY – METALLICA’S ONE

Metallica sucks except for one song, and mostly because of Lars Ulrich’s battle against Napster.

  • BIG POO – FAT JOE’S ONE, FEATURING AKON

Fat Joe’s normally tolerable, but by involving scumbag Akon, this song drops like a deuce.

I should like more songs by U2, but there’s an air of pretension in their music.  Or is that just gas?

  • ROYAL TURD – ELTON JOHN’S THE ONE

This was released during Sir Elton John’s renaissance years (the 90′s), and since he’s a respected musician (except for those stupid Pepsi commercials with that chick who won X-Factor that no one knows), you knew he’d doo-doo well.

  • DISCO CACA – BEE GEE’S ONE

Another renaissance song from renowned musicians.  I’m doing my best to not use diarrhea in some pun.

  • #2 – NELLY’S #1

Nelly’s had a fair share of shits, but they’ve been hits and misses when it comes to me.  This one hits.

  • TIM AND ERIC’S I SIT DOWN WHEN I PEE

*bows*
(exits stage left)

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One Comment leave one →
  1. November 7, 2013 10:28 am

    koukla mou, den einai kamia timoria, mia xara eisai, sakhtites ligo atixi, auto einai olo, pantos den iparxei tipota dinatotero apo mia ginaika, koita ton eauto s kai oso zeis min paretise, ego kontepsa na pethano apo lathos ektrosi, sapizan mesa mou ipolimata epeidi brethike enas malakas giatros kai epeidi epeita brethikan ki alloi polloi malakes pou den briskan oti exo ipoloimata kai m legan oti leo psemata oti ponao kai eimai mia xara eno pethena , istera apo ena diastima epeidi katalaba oti sigoura kati den paei kala, apofasisa na apeuthintho se enan para poli kalo giatro pou eutixos brethike ki autos mou ekane amesos epembasi kai glitosa skepsou ti itan auto gia ton organismo m kai tin igeia m-i mia epembasi meta tin alli gia mines ponousa sinexeia meta apo ola auta olo to diastima pou ponousa kanenas giatros den ebriske giati ponao afou eixa ksemperdepsei me ola auta ki etsi apofasisa na gino pio dinati moni m, pio skliri, na min exo anagki kanenan giatro oso perna apo to xeri m kai genikos kanenan, na frontiso kai na giatrepso ton eauto m kai ta katafera kai eimai kalitera apo pote, to pos einai alli istoria alla den metanoiosa, oute metanoiono, kai an giriza ton xrono piso tha to ksanakana giati sebomai tis epiloges m,tora egina poli kaliteri apo oti imoun, tora gnorizo para polla, kai mou aresei apisteuta to pos eimai auti pou eimai xari stin poreia m, telos, o monos logos pou egrapsa ti m sinebi einai gia na doso kouragio se ponemenes kopeles kai na proeidopoiiso se periptosi pou den to kserete oti iparxoun para polloi axristoi giatroi kai aneuthinoi ekei ekso kai ligoi einai oi pragmatika kaloi autoi pou einai anthropoi kai tha se antimetopisoun san anthropo.

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