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In My Brain While Sleeping… You Never Wanna Dream This Feeling

January 6, 2011

Welcome to the nightmare.

I don’t know if our time was up.  If it was the end days, it was the last day.  Our destroyer had arrived, and whether it was giants, transparent entities, The Big Guy (or Gal), or aliens, the method of our demise was tantamount to pulling our plugs.

No really.  It was as if our plugs were pulled out.  Specifically, our spines.

For me, it wasn’t a smooth transition from the here to the next.

As we waited like Chicken McNuggets in a 50 piece box for our turn, we remained silent, contemplative, reliving every moment of our lives.  I was the only one that seemed to be panicky.  When I was lifted up for the extraction, I was wiggling.  The overlord grabbed my tailbone, and yanked.  It felt like a giant tooth being pulled out of your ass and a plank-sized splinter from your mind.

I was a piled mess.  But I was still aware.

As I looked around at the other human globules, I realized they no longer contained life.

I couldn’t scream.  I couldn’t even make a peep.  How was I going to get their attention to inform them that I wasn’t destroyed?

They knew, though.  And quickly I was lifted back up.  My spine was shoved back into my body, and like a plumbing snake, it was fished about and yanked once again.  With this, I woke up.

Now how is this a post about pop culture?  Here are some pop culture representations of how I felt:

Mojo from the X-Men

Chet from Weird Science

Mr. Bill after an accidentMr. Potato Head in Toy Story 3

Paul "Shitbreak" Finch in American Pie



Harry Dunne in Dumb and Dumber (and CNN broadcast)

Pizza the Hutt in Space Balls

Melting guy in Street Trash

Chicken McNuggets

(SIDENOTE: I highly recommend not ever having this dream.)

INGREDIENTS: Kielbasa bought at 1am outside of a train station in Prague.  (First Czech Republic trip shout out!)

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