Awful Battle… Misappropriation Of Teddy Bears
November 11, 2009
Teddy bears have been around since the conception of President Theodore Roosevelt decided not to shoot a bear tied to tree in 1902, deeming it unsportsmanlike.
What one really has to do with the other, I don’t know, but keeping that in mind, it sort of paves the way for these future misappropriations of cute widdle fuzzy teddy bears by popular culture, whether it’s…
- The Jetsons Movie creating a Teddy-2 in an attempt to mine cash from later-generation youngsters (did I mention Teddy-2′s father works in a mine?)
- George Lucas force-ing “primitives” to battle inept clones (must watch this vid)
- Snuggle promoting a bear that giggles in ecstasy when cuddling warm towels (or tries to kill housewives)
- Steven Spielberg allowing a toy to be sentimental (or creeeepy)
- a company putting out a toy to enslave the classes (of students)
- Family Guy featuring a sexually confused infant further confused by fantasies involving his “plaything” Rupert
- a low-budget 90′s film using fuzzy buddies as weapons
- or a low-budget 00′s film that… that… just watch this preview.
Even though it may be fuzzy wuzzy, it’s still an AWFUL BATTLE… GO!
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- Executive 1: “How do you make The Jetsons modern?” Executive 2: “Add one of them space teddy bears all the kids are talking about!”
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- Executive 1: “Space teddy bears?” Executive 2: “Yeah, those cannibal teddy bears from that space movie.” Executive 1: “They did try to eat people…”
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- Meant to depict “wholesome”… Actually depicts “fetishist”…
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- Meant to depict “cute”… Actually depicts “stalker” (saved Mom’s clipped hair)
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- Prone to possessing children
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- Actually possessed a child
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- In the movie, “Screamers,” this bear was a bomb
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- This movie, “Gooby,” was a bomb
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