JusWondering… Government And Its Euphemisms
December 15, 2008
Welcome to the United States of America. Are we states united? Last time I checked there was a whole bunch of Blue States and a whole bunch of Red States, and together these states sure don’t make Purple. But it’s where we live, for better or worse, for sicker and poorer.
I just think it’s time we got a couple new euphemisms from the guys and gals in charge.
Here’s a few Classics:
- When America Invades a Country = Pre-Emptive War
- Project Scare Americans = Terror Alert Chart
- We Have No Idea Who We’re Fighting = War on Terror
- We Want To Spy on Everybody = Patriot Act
- Shut Everybody Up About the Poor Education in this Country = No Child Left Behind
Here’s a few Modern Classics:
- Man, is it Getting Hot or What? = Global Warming
- Wannabe Hippie = Going Green
- Perpetual Pipe Dream = Universal Health Care
And no doubt, here’s some Future ones as well:
- $700-billion Bailout = Troubled Assets Recovery Program
- Tax on the Rich = Investment in Middle America
- Abortion Clinics = Instant Angel Factories (?)
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I fight the war on terror everyday against my techno listening neighbor.